Roseanne (TV Series)

Don't Make Me Over (1992)

Laurie Metcalf: Jackie Harris

Quotes 

• Jackie Harris : [on Roseanne's new robe from Dan]  Oh, my, my, my. Let me feel. Oh boy, that feels fire retardant.

  Roseanne Conner : It's *way* retardant.

• Roseanne Conner : [looking in the closet]  Hey! I think I found my Mother's Day present from the kids.

  Jackie Harris : You're not going to open it, are you? It's two days away.

  Roseanne Conner : Yea! Well I need time to practice pretending like I like it.

  [pulls ugly, fuzzy, pink houseshoes from the box] 

  Roseanne Conner : Oh man, I should'a opened it a week ago.

• Jackie Harris : [on the phone to Bev]  If I was dating someone, don't you think I'd tell you just to get you off my back, oh yeah, oh well go suck an egg, no I didn't, I did not, why would I say that? Suck an egg, I don't even know what that means, must be a bad connection, I gotta go, bite me.

• Jackie Harris : [on the phone to Bev]  Happy Mother's Day, yeah, it's a shame you can't say the same to me.