Roseanne (TV Series)

Her Boyfriend's Back (1991)

John Goodman: Dan Conner

Quotes 

• Dan Conner : You still like this Mark guy?

  Becky Conner : Yeah. And I know you think it was his idea to take out the bike, but it wasn't. It was mine.

  Dan Conner : I know. Its that rebel Conner thing. It runs in the family. I want you to know I'm not gonna stand for it.

  [touches her nose] 

  Becky Conner : I just don't want you to hate Mark, you know?

  Dan Conner : [truthfully]  I don't hate Mark.

  Becky Conner : Mom does.

  Dan Conner : Oh, Mom definitely hates him.

  [short pause] 

  Dan Conner : Definitely. Hate... mom does, yes.

• Dan Conner : [walks into the kitchen]  Morning!

  Roseanne Conner : Hey, Dan. Jackie's going to learn to be a masseuse through the mail.

  Dan Conner : Geez, Jack, what happened? Did your sea monkeys died?

  Jackie Harris : I get a little support around here.

  [Becky walks in] 

  Roseanne Conner : Oh, we're sorry.

  [to Becky] 

  Roseanne Conner : Hey, guess what. Jackie's gonna be a...

  Jackie Harris : Shut up!

• Dan Conner : This is a very special bike.

  Roseanne Conner : Yes, Dan. I know that you love your bike. Jeez, you spend more time with this thing than you do with me.

  Dan Conner : Now Honey, don't get upset.

  Roseanne Conner : Well, it's true, Dan.

  Dan Conner : I was talking to the bike.

• Mark Healy : You got a nice bike, Mr. Conner. You ever think of selling it?

  Dan Conner : Actually, I'm planning on being buried with it.

• [Dan just noticed the carburetor on his motorcycle was adjusted, meaning his bike was taken out last night] 

  Dan Conner : Did you and Mark take out my Harley?

  [pause; Becky doesn't respond] 

  Dan Conner : Answer me.

  Becky Conner : Y-yeah.

  Dan Conner : You are never to touch that bike. Ever. You know that.

  Becky Conner : You guys said I could have a car on the weekend, and then you took both of them out last night.

  Dan Conner : What, so that's supposed to make it all right?

  Becky Conner : Dad, the bike's fine. Mark even adjusted the carburetor for you.

  Dan Conner : I never asked your punk boyfriend for a tune up, and I certainly never gave you permission to take that bike out, EVER!

  [he walks out to the garage] 

• Becky Conner : [about taking Dan's motorcycle out with Mark last night]  Okay, I'm sorry. It was a stupid thing to do.

  Dan Conner : No, it was beyond stupid. You know what this bike means to me. But you figure you don't have a car one night, so you just go behind my back and take it.

  Becky Conner : Well, if I would of asked you, you woulda said no anyway.

  Dan Conner : That's right!

  [agitated] 

  Dan Conner : What does that tell you?

  Becky Conner : Okay, fine. So how long am I grounded for?

  Dan Conner : You don't get it, do you, Becky? This isn't some little stupid curfew you broke.

  Becky Conner : Dad...

  Dan Conner : No! You've been giving us crap for months now, and I've been on your side. I duked it out with your mom over letting you see Mark. I was working with you on this car deal, but you could care less. Well, I'm tired of bending over backwards for you, Becky.

  Becky Conner : So if I'm not grounded, then what?

  Dan Conner : Then, uh, nothing. What's the point? You're just gonna do whatever the hell you want anyway.

  Becky Conner : Dad, I said I'm sorry!

  Dan Conner : I don't care what you said. Just get the hell out of my sight.