Roseanne (TV Series)

Stand on Your Man (1992)

John Goodman: Dan Conner

Quotes 

• Dan : Would you consider getting a gun for the diner?

  Roseanne : Oh, there's a great idea. A loaded gun in the same room with my mother and my sister. What if they miss each other, and they kill a customer?

• Roseanne : He just looked like a regular lunatic, you know.

  Dan : Could you be more specific?

  Roseanne : Yeah, okay. He looks like the kind of guy Darlene's gonna bring home, and we're gonna have to call "Son".

• Arnie Thomas : [running from Roseanne]  Call her off, Dan! Call her off!

  Dan : You gotta appreciate my situation here, Arn. She's my wife. I gotta let her hurt ya.

• Dan : Nancy's gay? Our Nancy? Arnie's Nancy?

  Roseanne : Yes, and now Marla's Nancy.

• Dan : Damn it, Roseanne! You're not going to know some maniac's special tickle spot!