Roseanne (TV Series)

Stand on Your Man (1992)

Roseanne Barr: Roseanne Conner

Quotes 

• Dan : Would you consider getting a gun for the diner?

  Roseanne : Oh, there's a great idea. A loaded gun in the same room with my mother and my sister. What if they miss each other, and they kill a customer?

• Roseanne : He just looked like a regular lunatic, you know.

  Dan : Could you be more specific?

  Roseanne : Yeah, okay. He looks like the kind of guy Darlene's gonna bring home, and we're gonna have to call "Son".

• Roseanne : You can't just go over there, Arnie, a lot of things have changed in this town since you were here last.

  Arnie Thomas : Like what?

  Roseanne : Like, Nancy's a lesbian, and we got a new Lens Crafter.

• Dan : Nancy's gay? Our Nancy? Arnie's Nancy?

  Roseanne : Yes, and now Marla's Nancy.

• Jackie : [In the diner, kidding around about Dan]  Is this creep giving you trouble, Roseanne?

  Roseanne : Yes. He keeps insisting he's my husband, and he won't leave!

• Jane, Female Instructor : [self-defense lesson]  Passivity is your worst enemy. First thing we learn to do here is to say "No" to men.

  Roseanne : [to Jackie]  You sure you took this class?