- Laverne Blossom: I just got rid of my agent. I can't afford to keep giving him ten percent of my Social Security.
- Bob Newhart: Overcrowding is getting so bad in prison nowadays, that even solitary confinement has four to a cell.
- Bob Newhart: Well, I haven't had so much fun since the day I shaved a naughty word on the back of my cat.
- Bob Newhart: Just think, if the telephone hadn't been invented yet, I'd have to do my act by beating on a primitive bongo drum.
- Desi Arnaz: So what's wrong with that, Gringo?
- Barbara Sharma: See you next week, Desi.