- Horace Rumpole: After the sad news that poor old Horace Rumpole had kicked the bucket, it must have come as a great pleasure to you all to learn he had simply turned a little pale.
- Horace Rumpole: That's why I asked you to give Miss Allways a little brief. She has a remarkable head for figures.
- Frank Armstrong: [lewdly] And quite a figure for heads, I would imagine.
- [laughs]
- Judge Roger 'The Mad Bull' Bullingham: Mr Rumpole, I believe you have a taste for poetry. You will no doubt remember the quotation about "The Law's delays"?
- Horace Rumpole: Ah yes, My Lord. It comes in the same passage which deals with "The Insolence of Office".
- [Frank Armstrong is accused of renting out non-existent holiday locations]
- Ward-Webster: On one occasion at least, a mobile home was actually removed from an unhappy mother just as she was about to enter it.
- Judge Roger 'The Mad Bull' Bullingham: Instead of the mother running away from home, the home ran away from the mother.
- [jury laughs]
- Horace Rumpole: [to himself] Oh well done, Bull, quite the stand-up comic.
- Frank Armstrong: Looking round your office today, Mr Rumpole, I doubt whether it's fully automated. You have great delays in sending out your bills, am I right?
- Horace Rumpole: [chuckles] I sometimes think my bills are sent out by carrier pigeon - with a broken wing and no sense of direction.
- [Judge Bullingham is examining photographs of Frank Armstrong's holiday park, and pointing out features to the jury]
- Ward-Webster: I'd like to ask you now about your Cornish site for Free As Air Holidays Ltd. Your Lordship and the jury have the photographs in Exhibit 3.
- Judge Roger 'The Mad Bull' Bullingham: Hardly looks like the Garden of Eden, does it, members of the jury.
- [jury laughs]
- Judge Roger 'The Mad Bull' Bullingham: It appears to be next door to an industrial tip.
- [jury laughs]
- Frank Armstrong: Looking in the other direction, there *is* an uninterrupted view of the sea.
- Judge Roger 'The Mad Bull' Bullingham: Oh, yes. Between the crane and the second lorry.
- [jury laughs]
- Frank Armstrong: A great deal of our patrons' time is spent on the beach, my Lord.
- Judge Roger 'The Mad Bull' Bullingham: Perhaps they want a quiet night.
- [jury laughs]