Sabrina the Teenage Witch (TV Series)

A Halloween Story (1996)

Melissa Joan Hart: Sabrina Spellman

Quotes 

• Zelda Spellman , Hilda Spellman : [singing]  Halloween, o'happy day. Halloween o' happy day.

  Sabrina Spellman : What are you doing with Salem? I heard him screeching.

  Zelda Spellman : Very funny. We were singing a Halloween carol.

• Sabrina Spellman : I'm going to school in a costume. Guess who I am?

  [puts on a pair of red-rimmed glasses] 

  Sabrina Spellman : Sally Jessy Raphael. What, do I need a microphone?

• Hilda Spellman : We're not big on thanksgiving. That holiday was started by puritans who weren't exactly witch friendly.

  Sabrina Spellman : So instead we celebrate a night devoted to little kids dressing up like super-heroes?

  Zelda Spellman : That is not what all hallows eve is all about. It's a time for remembering the dead.

  Sabrina Spellman : Oh, that sounds like fun. I just know I'll have a terrible time.

  Hilda Spellman : And that's what family gatherings are all about. Do you think I want to listen to cousin Marigold brag about how married she is and how single I am? No.

  Zelda Spellman : But we go, because it's tradition.

  Hilda Spellman : And Zelda makes me.

  Sabrina Spellman : And now you're making me?

  Hilda Spellman : See? Tradition.

• Sabrina Spellman : It's so unfair. They can't make me go to the Other Realm.

  Salem Saberhagen : They made me a cat. You're messing with the wrong crowd.

• Sabrina Spellman : [finds the spell in the magic book]  Here goes. Double, double. Toil and trouble.

  Salem Saberhagen : Bill Shakespeare stole that from us. What a hack!

• Salem Saberhagen : It can't talk until you give it something to say and keep in mind it can only say 3 sentences.

  Sabrina Spellman : Let me think. I want my double to be positive because people are always feel positive about positive people.

  Salem Saberhagen : My tuna's coming up.

• Sabrina Spellman : And we need a universal truth. Oh that's easy. 'Mr. Pool can be so annoying.'

• Amanda : You better be nice to me or I'll put you in a jar.

  Sabrina Spellman : Excuse me?

  Amanda : I put all the people who aren't nice to me in jars.

  [puts on the table a jar with a tiny man in it] 

  Amanda : This is Mr. Altree, he tried to teach me math.

  Sabrina Spellman : Can he breath in there?

  Amanda : Yes, I gave him air holes. Here's a math problem, Mr. Altree. 5 air holes minus 1 air hole is how many?

  [placing her finger over one of the air holes] 

  Mr. Altree : No, please! I wanna live. I wanna live!

  Amanda : See, nobody likes pop quizzes.

• Libby Chessler : Would you stop smiling at me! Oh you are such a goody two shoes.

  Sabrina Spellman : That is so true.

  Libby Chessler : Well, at least you admit it. You know I'd like you a lot more if you'd just make fun of people but I suppose you would never do that.

  Sabrina Spellman : Mr. Pool can be so annoying.

  Libby Chessler : That's a start.

• Amanda : My parents let me eat ice cream whenever I want. My nanny said it would rot my teeth so I put her in a jar.

  Sabrina Spellman : You know you should really find other ways of dealing with people.

  Amanda : What's that supposed to mean?

  Sabrina Spellman : Just that, you know you don't have to put everyone you don't like in a jar.

  Amanda : That's what my psychologist said, so I put him in a jar.

• Sabrina Spellman : Now how do I know I'm going to get the real James Dean and not the sausage guy?

  Hilda Spellman : First of all, the sausage guy is still alive but just in case write 'Star of Rebel without a cause.'

• Sabrina Spellman : So I moved in with aunt Hilda and aunt Zelda. They do more weird things by 9 a.m. than most people do all day.

• Granny : Well, Sabrina, you know you can always tell me anything.

  Sabrina Spellman : I'm a witch.

  Granny : Well, dear, as long as you're happy.

• Harvey Kinkle : I'm thinking about going as James Dean.

  Sabrina Spellman : I love James Dean.

  Harvey Kinkle : Yeah, and all I needs a white T shirt, some jeans and something to lean on.

• Sabrina Spellman : Just gather round the jack-o-lantern and remember, the true meaning of Halloween is inside you. Right Salem?

  Salem Saberhagen : There's a pound of candy corn inside me.

• Sabrina Spellman : [reading]  It's a gift certificate to spend half an hour with the deceased of your choice. What's this?

  Marigold : You got her a reanimation? Those are very pricey.

  Amanda : [screaming]  I want a reanimation! I want a reanimation! I want a reanimation!

  [Marigold drags her away] 

  Sabrina Spellman : This is the weirdest gift.