- Lamont Sanford: Honest Hal? Pop, with a name like Honest Hal, he couldn't possibly be honest.
- Fred G. Sanford: Why not? Tricky Dicky was tricky.
- Clarence: [Fred opens the door and an old man and two elderly women enter] Are you Fred Sanford?
- Fred G. Sanford: Uh, yeah. Who are you all, Tony Orlando and Twilight?
- Hank: If you call off your pickets, we'll give you a stereo free.
- Lamont Sanford: Hey, my Pop wouldn't sell out the Gray Foxes for a mere stereo.
- Fred G. Sanford: Uh, yeah, you're right, son. However, if you threw in a free record collection...
- Lamont Sanford: But Pop?
- Hank: Anything you want!
- Fred G. Sanford: You got any Isaac Hayes and Leslie Uggams?
- Hank: We certainly do!
- Lamont Sanford: What about ethics and morality?
- Fred G. Sanford: Yeah, throw them in too with Earth, Wind & Fire.