- Lamont Sanford: [Trying to convince Fred of his stubbornness] When's the last time you gave in to somebody?
- Fred G. Sanford: 1942. I gave in to your mother. And that was a big mistake.
- Lamont Sanford: Why? What happened?
- Fred G. Sanford: You. You see, Lamont is French for "big mistake."
- Lamont Sanford: [to Fred after he's insulted their Chinese neighbor Ah Chew] What's the matter with you? Ah Chew is our neighbor. Well, you know what it says in the Bible: "Love thy neighbour."
- Fred G. Sanford: Well, the guy who wrote the Bible didn't live in this neighborhood. If he had, he'd have said, "Love thy neighbour, but locketh thy windows."
- [turning to Ah Chew]
- Fred G. Sanford: Now shove that in your fortune cookie, Choo-Choo!
- Aunt Esther Anderson: [In response to one of Fred's insults] You may think your face is a prize, but it looks just like a Brillo Pad with eyes!