- Simon: [talking about his father] So you see, I get to see a lot of him, although, sometimes, I think he forgets he has a little boy. But still, he buys me any toy I want. Once, he bought me Action Man, which is like the British version of G.I. Joe, except that Action Man has to serve in Northern Ireland.
- Announcer: [voice over] Now, get ready for a man so black, he goes to funerals naked. Step back, 'cause heeeeere's Nat!