- Mr. T.: If you believe in yourself, drink your school, stay in drugs and don't do milk, you can get work!
- Joanna Pilsner: [praising Richard Gere] I'll tell ya, it's Rich-hard to overlook how Gere-reat this actor is.
- Sharon Gaynor: Well Jay, I just like, like living my live on TV, you know? I auditioned for 'The Real World' three times and I've been on MTV Kareoke, twice and, ehm, I've been on my neighbor's show, 'Showering with Bill', eight times.
- Jay Thomas: Actually, Sharon, I hate to break it to you, but 'Showering with Bill' is not a TV Show.
- Ben Affleck: [on phone] Mango, i-it's me, Ben Affleck.
- Mango: [on receiving end] Ben Whofleck? What? Who is this?