- Carol Moseley Braun: I'll tell you what I'd bring, Chris: diversity. I am African-American, and a woman. But the diversity doesn't stop there. Joe Lieberman is Jewish. So am I! As of two days ago. Shalom, everybody. Wesley Clark was a general. Big deal! I have begun taking karate lessons, so that someday, I can become a ninja. I represent the new face of America, Chris: The female, black, Jewish ninja face.
- Gollum: Gollum loves the Saturday Night Liveses!
- [turns to other camera]
- Gollum: No! Gollum hates the Saturday Night Liveses! Sketches go on way too long, and never have endingseses!
- [turns back to normal]
- Gollum: Oh! That's not true! Such a talented cast! The Tinsa Fey... a-and the other peopleses!
- [turns to other camera again]
- Gollum: No! Everyone knows the show's been sucking wind ever since Chris Kattan left!