- Dr. Tongue: Believe me, Eddie, this is the perfect film for you to be doing at this stage in your career.
- Eddie Murphy: You know, I do like the title "3-D Chicks in Their Underwear", I like that.
- Prostitute: Hi... I'm Princess Leia and I want you to be my Wookiee. And when I fire my retrorockets, you're gonna go on a journey around the universe.
- Tom Tully: [on public phone] Hello, this is Tom Tully, eh, I have a confession.
- Priest: [on other line in the next stall] Tom, You're gonna have to speak up, I'm sorry.
- Tom Tully: [shouting] This is Tom Tully, I have a confession!
- Priest: Hello Tom, go ahead.
- Tom Tully: Yeah, eh, I had some impure thoughts, Father.
- Priest: I see, well, what kind of thoughts?
- Tom Tully: Eh, lustful thoughts, Father.
- Priest: A bus full of what?
- Joanna Carson: And what was I doing while I conceived that child? I was watching Johnny Carson.
- [laughs]
- Joanna Carson: And he's not funny upside down, either.
- Jim Wolf: What kinda hotel is this? I'm laying here, bleeding to death.
- Mr. Krevitz: Bleeding? I thought you said you broke your leg.
- Jim Wolf: Yeah, well, I did, and then your dog came out and found me. Who the hell sends out Doberman Pinscher to rescue skiers?