Scrubs (TV Series)

My Fruit Cups (2002)

Zach Braff: Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian

Photos 

Quotes 

• Elliot : My dad's coming in to town for a conference tomorrow.

  Carla : You don't seem that stressed out.

  Elliot : Well, I haven't pooed in six days.

  J.D. : Twice this morning, and I haven't even had my coffee yet.

  Elliot : You really pick odd things to brag about.

  J.D. : I'm just saying, if I had to get three by lunch, I probably could.

• Janitor : [J.D. and Turk have been stealing hospital supplies]  Hey, have you been stealing pudding cups and toilet paper around here?

  J.D. : [stammers]  No! I hate pudding and I don't use... toilet paper.

  Janitor : [Janitor stares] 

  J.D. : I have one of those French things that shoots water up your butt.

  Janitor : Bidet?

  J.D. : BIDET to you sir.

• Dr. Perry Cox : [after JD winked at him]  Oh my God, Sabrina... You had better tell me that you just had laser eye surgery and they accidentally severed the muscle that enables your hold that lid up because you did not just wink at me!

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : I didn't mean anything by it. I wink at everybody.

  [to Kelso] 

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : Hey, Dr Kelso!

  [winks at him] 

  Dr. Kelso : Save it for the bathhouses, sport.

  Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian : [to himself, leaving]  Oh, boy...