Seinfeld (TV Series)

The Apology (1997)

Julia Louis-Dreyfus: Elaine Benes

Photos 

Quotes 

• Elaine Benes : The female body is a work of art. The male body is utilitarian. It's for gettin' around. It's like a jeep.

• J. Peterman : Bad news, people. Peggy is home sick.

  Elaine Benes : Oh, please.

  J. Peterman : She's stuffed up, achy, and suffering from intense malaise.

  Elaine Benes : Oh, come on, we all have intense malaise. Right?"

  J. Peterman : I just spoke with her, Elaine. She's in bed.

  Elaine Benes : Yeah, let me tell you something: this is all in her mind, okay? She is insane. She thinks I made her sick because I coughed on her doorknob, rubbed her stapler in my armpit, and put her keyboard on my butt. Yeah, she's a wacko.

• George Costanza : I asked if I could borrow a sweater.

  Jerry Seinfeld : A cashmere sweater.

  George Costanza : I said, preferably cashmere. For warmth. So in front of the whole party, he says: "No. I don't want you stretching out the neck hole." Oh, yeah, sure, laugh it up. Everybody else did.

  Elaine Benes : Well, it's funny. I mean, you have a big head. Or is it because of your neck?

  Jerry Seinfeld : No, I think the head does most of the stretching.

  George Costanza : Regardless, I had to walk around for the rest of the party... in some cheap MetLife Windbreaker. Now it is payback time.

  Elaine Benes : I really think it's the size of your neck.

  George Costanza : It's my head!