Photos
Quotes
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George Costanza : Jerry, just remember. It's not a lie if *you* believe it.
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Cosmo Kramer : Hey.
George Costanza : You fixed me up with a bald woman!
Cosmo Kramer : [flinches] Bald?
George Costanza : Yeah, that's right.
Elaine : Do you see the irony here? You're rejecting somebody because they're bald.
George Costanza : So?
Elaine : [cups her hands around her mouth] YOU'RE BALD!
George Costanza : [indignantly] No, I'm not!
[he "beeps" Elaine on the nose]
George Costanza : I... *was* bald.
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[after learning the woman he's attracted to is bald]
George Costanza : No one goes into a barbershop and says, "Give me the Larry Fine."
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George Costanza : I told her the truth.
Jerry Seinfeld : As you see it?
George Costanza : Yes, as I see it.
Jerry Seinfeld : Did you tell her about, uh, your little hat there?
George Costanza : What hat?
Jerry Seinfeld : You know, your little hair hat there.
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George Costanza : I tell you, when she threw that toupee out the window, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I feel like my old self again. Totally inadequate, completely insecure, paranoid, neurotic. It's a pleasure.
Jerry Seinfeld : Good to have you back.
George Costanza : And you know what else I've decided to do? I'm going to keep seeing the bald woman.
Jerry Seinfeld : She's as good as anybody else.
George Costanza : Her scalp was clean. She had a nice skull. There just wasn't a lot of hair on it.
Jerry Seinfeld : You know, you've had like a religious awakening. You're like a bald-again.
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George Costanza : Ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh, all right. Go ahead, deride. Deride if you must. But let me tell you something. With my personality and this set of hair, you know what I am now? I am in the game. I no longer defer to the coifed. I'm a player.
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George Costanza : It was like I was looking at myself in a mirror.