Seinfeld (TV Series)

The Doodle (1995)

Wayne Knight: Newman

Quotes 

• [Jerry knocks on Newman's door] 

  Jerry Seinfeld : Newman! Open the door, Newman! I know you're in there!

  Newman : Hello, Jerry. What a pleasant surprise.

  Jerry Seinfeld : There's nothing pleasant about it, so let's just cut the crap. You gave me fleas. I know it and you know it.

  Newman : Fleas? Bwa ha ha ha ha.That's preposterous! How can I give you fleas? Now, if you don't mind...

  Jerry Seinfeld : Oh, but I do. There's probably fleas crawling all over your little snack bar.

  [Newman is scratching his back and stops when Jerry turns around] 

  Newman : So you have fleas. Maybe you keep your house in a state of disrepair. Maybe you live in squalor.

  Jerry Seinfeld : You know, Newman, the thing about fleas is that they irritate the skin and they start to itch. Oh, maybe you can hold out five seconds or ten, maybe fifteen or twenty. But after a while, no matter how much will power a person may have, it won't matter, because they're crawling, crawling on your skin. Up your legs, up your spine, up your back...

  Newman : [finally snaps]  Baaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh... I'm ripped with fleas!

• Cosmo Kramer : The 15th? Yes! Last day for the Mackinaws. I can still make it. Wait... Newman...

  Newman : [just finished off a Mackinaw peach]  Sorry, last one. Would you want to suck the pit?

  Cosmo Kramer : [laughs sarcastically, then speaks to the bulldog]  Look, Buford! It's the mailman! You remember the mailman, don't you?

  [Kramer takes the dog off the leash and it chases Newman down the street]