Seinfeld (TV Series)
The Fusilli Jerry (1995)
Jerry Stiller: Frank Costanza
Quotes
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Estelle Costanza : Where have you been? You were supposed to fix the stove! I've been waiting for hours!
Frank Costanza : I fell on some Fusilli
Estelle Costanza : Fusilli?
Frank Costanza : You know, the corkscrew pasta. It was a Fusilli Jerry. It got stuck in me. Had to go to the proctologist.
Estelle Costanza : The proctologist? Are you okay?
Frank Costanza : Yeah.
Estelle Costanza : Oh, I was so worried.
[grabs a couple of tissues from the box]
George Costanza : Ma, don't cry!
Estelle Costanza : Oh, I can't help it!
George Costanza : Ma, your eyes!
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Frank Costanza : [while on his way to confront Kramer for making a pass at his wife, he spot's Kramer's ASSMAN vanity license plate and immediately becomes embroiled in rage] ASSMAN? I'll give him ASSMAN!
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Cosmo Kramer : Yeah, excuse me, uh... You didn't by any chance recently get the wrong license plates?
Dr. Howard Cooperman : Yes. I'm still waiting for the motor vehicle bureau to straighten it out.
Cosmo Kramer : So... you're the Assman.
[Dr. Cooperman winks and heads back to where Frank is waiting]
Frank Costanza : It was a million to one shot, Doc. Million to one.
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Frank Costanza : Getting an eye job like some Manhattanite, huh?
Estelle Costanza : Well, it's already working. Kramer made a pass at me.
Frank Costanza : Kramer made a pass at you? You're crazy.
Estelle Costanza : I'm not crazy. He stopped short and made a grab.
Frank Costanza : He stopped short? That's my move. I'm gonna kill him!
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Cosmo Kramer : Hey, Frank.
Frank Costanza : Don't Frank me! I know what you did. How dare you stop short with my wife!
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Frank Costanza : Where's your friend Kramer?
Jerry Seinfeld : I don't know. Why?
Frank Costanza : Because I'm looking for him. That's why. He stopped short.
Jerry Seinfeld : What do you mean?
Frank Costanza : In a car, with my wife. He stopped short. You think I don't know what that's about? That's my old move! I used it on Estelle forty years ago! I told everybody about it! Everybody knows!
[Demonstrates]
Frank Costanza : Hmmph! I stopped short.
Jerry Seinfeld : Really, stopping short. That's a good move.
Frank Costanza : You're not kidding it's a good move!