Seinfeld (TV Series)

The Label Maker (1995)

Jerry Seinfeld: Jerry Seinfeld

Photos 

Quotes 

• George Costanza : [referring to Kramer and Newman's Risk game]  What's that?

  Jerry : Oh, it's Risk, it's a game of world domination being played by two guys who can barely run their own lives.

• Jerry : I'm not letting you cheat Newman. You're not getting anywhere near that board.

  Newman : Jerry, I'm a little insulted.

  Jerry : You're not a little anything, Newman.

• Jerry : Newman! He's going with Newman!

  George Costanza : How does Tim Whatley even know Newman?

  Jerry : Newman's his mailman.

  George Costanza : Who goes to the Super Bowl with their mailman?

  Jerry : Who goes anywhere with Newman?

• [Jerry opens the door and Kramer backs in carrying a board game] 

  Cosmo Kramer : Where can I put this?

  Jerry : What is it?

  Cosmo Kramer : It's Risk, Jerry. The game of world conquest.

  [He brushes newspapers off the table with his foot and setting the game board down] 

  Cosmo Kramer : Alright, that's perfect.

  [Newman walks in] 

  Jerry : Kramer, why do you have to-?

  [He sees Newman standing in the doorway] 

  Jerry : Hello, Newman.

• [first lines] 

  Jerry : Loyalty to any one sports team is pretty hard to justify. Because the players are always changing, the team can move to another city. You're actually rooting for the clothes when you get right down to it. I mean, you are standing and cheering and yelling for your clothes to beat the clothes from another city. Fans will be so in love with a player, but if he goes to another team, they boo him. This is the same human being in a different shirt. They hate him now. "Boo! Different shirt. Booooo."

• Jerry : You go out with a guy one time, you ask him to go upstairs like you're Mae West? Of course he's gonna try and get you alone for the weekend.

• Jerry : Well, if you're getting him anything for his birthday, I'm a large.