Seinfeld (TV Series)

The Robbery (1990)

Jerry Seinfeld: Jerry Seinfeld

Photos 

Quotes 

• Kramer : How could you not have insurance?

  Jerry : Because, I spent all my money on the Clapco D29. It's the most impenetrable lock on the market today. It has only one design flaw: the door

  [closes door] 

  Jerry : MUST BE CLOSED!

• [a police officer at Jerry's apartment, taking notes of articles stolen] 

  Cop : Let's see, that's one tv, a stereo, one leather jacket, a VCR, and a computer. Is that about it?

  Elaine : Answering machine.

  Jerry : *Answering machine*. Boy, I hate the idea of somebody out there returning my calls.

  Cop : What do you mean?

  Jerry : It's a joke.

  Cop : I see. Well, Mr Seinfeld, we'll look into it and we'll let you know if we, you know, if we find anything.

  Jerry : Do you ever find anything?

  Cop : No.

• Elaine : Jerry, come on, you're doing okay now. You should at least take a look at this place. You shouldn't have to live like this.

  Jerry : Like this? You just said you wanted to live here!

  Elaine : Well, for me it's a step up. It's like moving from Iceland to Finland.

• [first lines] 

  Jerry : So, I move into the center lane. Now, I get ahead of this woman who felt, for some reason, I guess, that she thought that I'd cut her off. So she pulls up alongside of me, gives me... the finger. It seems like such an arbitrary, ridiculous thing to just pick a finger, and you show it to the person. It's a finger. What does it mean? Someone shows me one of their fingers, and I'm supposed to feel bad. Is that the way it's supposed to work? I mean... you could just give someone the toe, really, couldn't you? I would feel worse if I got the toe than if I got the finger, because it's not easy to give someone the toe. You got to get the shoe off, the sock off, and drive, get it up in the... Look at that toe, buddy. I mean, that's really insulting, to get the toe, isn't it?