Seinfeld (TV Series)
The Understudy (1995)
Jerry Seinfeld: Jerry Seinfeld
Quotes
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Cosmo Kramer : [has just learned Jerry's girlfriend is Bette Midler's understudy in the Rochelly, Rochelle musical] Understudys, now they're a shifty bunch. The substitute teachers of the theater world.
Jerry Seinfeld : I'm glad that she's an understudy. This way I avoid having to go backstage and think of something to say.
George Costanza : Going backstage is the worst. Especially when they stink, then it's a real problem.
Jerry Seinfeld : Just once I'd like to tell someone they stink. 'Ya know what? I didn't like the show, I didn't like you, ya just really stunk. The whole thing: really bad. Stinkaroo. Thanks for the tickets though.'
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Elaine Benes : I'm telling you Jerry, I have a sneaking suspicion the women at the nail parlour were talking about me. I think they've been calling me a dog.
Jerry Seinfeld : How would you know? You don't speak Korean.
Elaine Benes : Because this woman came in with a dog and Ruby calls the dog the same word they were saying when they were pointing at me, "gae, gae, gae".
Cosmo Kramer : Ya know, maybe in Korea, dog isn't an insult. It could be like the word fox to us. 'Oh, she's a dog.'
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Jerry Seinfeld : [Gennice just received a telegram] What is it?
Gennice : My grandmother died.
Jerry Seinfeld : Oh, I'm so sorry.
Gennice : Oh no, it's okay. I'm fine.
[crumples telegram and throws it in the trash can]
Jerry Seinfeld : So you don't care when your grandmother dies, but a hot dog makes you lose control?
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Jerry Seinfeld : You met J. Peterman?
Elaine Benes : Yeah.
Jerry Seinfeld : What is he like?
Elaine Benes : He wore a classic horseman's duster, beige corduroy collar, 100% cotton canvas, high waist, 9 pockets, 6 on the outside. Great for running along side a train, waving last goodbyes, posing on a veranda,
[Jerry waves goodbye and turns to leave]
Elaine Benes : men's sizes...
Jerry Seinfeld : I'll see ya later.
Elaine Benes : Small, medium, large, XL...
