The Simpsons (TV Series)

Bart on the Road (1996)

Julie Kavner: Marge Simpson, Patty Bouvier, Selma Bouvier

Quotes 

• [last lines] 

  [after Homer and Lisa secretly rescue Bart from his latest escapade, Homer and Marge are settling down for the night. The phone rings, Marge picks it up] 

  Marge : Hello? Oh, hello, Principal Skinner. No, Bart has never been to Hong Kong. All right, goodbye.

  [she hangs up, but the phone rings again] 

  Marge : Hello? Tennessee State Police? No, my son's car did not get crushed in Knoxville! I can't even begin to tell you what's wrong with that.

  [she hangs up, the phone rings yet again] 

  Marge : Hello? No, Bart is not available tomorrow to deliver a human kidney to Amsterdam!

  [she hangs up and turns out the light] 

  Homer : Hee, hee, hee...

  Marge : Homer, are you laughing at me?

• [on working at the DMV] 

  Patty : Some days, we don't let the line move at all.

  Selma : Yeah. We call those *week*days.

  [they chuckle cruelly] 

• [Selma just took Cletus' picture for his driver's license] 

  Selma : Okay. One more step. I just gotta go laminate your license. You'll get it in two to three weeks.

  Cletus : Hot damn! No more sittin' in the dirt at the drive-in!

• [When the school replaces a normal school day with "Follow your parents to work" day, Marge encourages Lisa to go to the nuclear plant, while Bart looks forward to staying home, "observing" Marge] 

  Marge : Lisa, you've always been interested in nuclear power.

  Lisa : Mom, I've signed numerous petitions to shut that place down.

  Marge : Well, there you go.

  Bart : Mom, you're in the way of the TV. If you want to, you can fill out my form.

  Marge : [reading]  "Parent's occupation... Please note that 'homemaker' is not allowed, as it is not real work, that's why you don't get paid." Mmmm...

  Lisa : Bart can take my place at the nuclear power plant.

  Marge : But Bart so wanted to see women in the workplace.

  Lisa : Well, how about Aunt Patty and Aunt Selma at the DMV?

  [Bart gasps] 

  Marge : Thank you, Lisa! I would have never thought of that.

  [Lisa chuckles]