The Simpsons (TV Series)

Homer and Ned's Hail Mary Pass (2005)

Julie Kavner: Marge Simpson

Quotes 

• Marge Simpson : Ned, there's more to the Bible than blood and gore.

  Ned Flanders : Oh, I-I guess you'd rather see a film about a liberal European wizard school, or-or the latest sexcapade of Ms. Ashley Judd.

  Marge Simpson : Well, I don't like *this* movie, and I'm going to boycott your financier, Mr. Burns.

  Mr. Burns : Oh, really? And what will you use instead of nuclear power?

  Marge Simpson : Solar.

  Lenny : Hydroelectric.

  Moe Szyslak : A mix of conservation and wind.

  Mr. Burns : Who told you about those?

  Carl Carlson : A talking tree in a commercial.

• Marge Simpson : [seeing Flanders shooting a new movie]  Oh, my. Ned's next movie seems even bloodier than the last one.

  Ned Flanders : [as Lou whips Hans Moleman]  Now, there's no need to actually whip him. We can put the sound in later.

  Mr. Burns : No! As your financial backer, I insist upon reality. Pharaoh didn't put the sound in later.

  Ned Flanders : But who'd know the difference?

  Mr. Burns : The people being whipped!

  [taking Lou's whip, he starts whipping Hans himself] 

• Marge Simpson : Lisa, could you pass the salad?

  LeBron James : [taking the bowl]  And it's James with the steal!

  ["dunking" it through and hanging onto the chandelier, his weight breaks it and he crashes back to the table] 

  Marge Simpson : Who wants to help me clear the table?

  Ming Yao : [in Chinese]  I'm sorry, but I do not understand English.

  Lisa Simpson : Wait a second. I've read that you speak excellent English.

  Ming Yao : [quietly, switching languages]  Shut up, kid. I got a good thing going here.

• Marge Simpson : Aren't you that crazy cat lady?

  Crazy Cat Lady : Yes, I am. But thanks to this psychoactive medication, I enjoy brief moments of lucidity.

  Marge Simpson : Those are just Reese's Pieces.

• Marge Simpson : Everyone seemed so happy, but I'm surprised at Ned. He left out all the good times Cain and Abel had when they were growing up.

  Lisa Simpson : He's just being true to the Bible, which *is* pretty violent.

  Bart Simpson : And sexy. King David stole someone else's wife, Mary Magdalene was a hooker...

  Marge Simpson : Bart. How do you know these things?

  Bart Simpson : [holding up "The Bible for Wise-Asses"]  Eh, it's all in this book.