The Simpsons (TV Series)

Homer's Barbershop Quartet (1993)

Nancy Cartwright: Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Paperboy

Quotes 

• Lisa Simpson : I can't believe you're not still popular.

  Bart : What'd you do, screw up like the Beatles and say you were bigger than Jesus?

  Homer : All the time. It was the title of our second album.

• Bart : Barbershop? That ain't been popular since aught-six, dag-nab it!

  Homer : Bart, what did I tell you?

  Bart : No talking like a grizzled 1890s prospector, consarn it.

• Bart : Oh boy! Free trading cards!

  Milhouse Van Houten : Wow! Joseph of Arimathea! Twenty six conversions in A.D. 46.

  Nelson Muntz : Whoa. A Methuselah rookie card!

  Ned Flanders : Heh heh. Well, boys, who'd have thought learning about religion could be fun?

  Bart : Religion?

  Milhouse Van Houten : Learning?

  Nelson Muntz : Let's get out of here!

• Bart : Dad, when did you record an album?

  Homer : I'm surprised you don't remember, son. It was only eight years ago.

  Bart : Dad, thanks to television, I can't remember what happened eight minutes ago.

  [the rest of the family laughs except Bart] 

  Bart : No, really, I can't! It's a serious problem.

• Lisa Simpson : Wow, look at all this Be Sharps merchandise. Lunch boxes, coffee mugs, funny foam.

  [squirts the funny foam on Homer] 

  Homer : They took the foam off the market because they found out it was poisonous, but if you ask me, if you're dumb enough to eat it, you deserve to die.

  [looks over at Bart who's eating the foam] 

  Homer : Bart!

  Bart : [with a mouth full of foam]  What?

• Homer : We were about to learn an iron law of show business: what goes up must come down.

  Lisa Simpson : What about Bob Hope? He's been consistently popular for over 50 years.

  Bart : So's Sinatra.

  Homer : Well, anyway, we were all getting tired of...

  Lisa Simpson : Dean Martin still packs 'em in.

  Bart : Ditto Tom Jones.

  Homer : Shut up!

• Bart : [after Homer tells his family about his barbershop quartet]  Man, that's some story!

  Lisa Simpson : But there are still a few things I don't get. Like, how come we never heard about this until today?

  Bart : Yeah. And what happened to the money you made?

  Lisa Simpson : Why haven't you hung up your gold records?

  Bart : Since when could you write a song?

  Homer : [laughs]  There are perfectly good answers to those questions, but they'll have to wait for another night. Now off to bed!

  [Bart and Lisa leave the room]