The Simpsons (TV Series)
Jaws Wired Shut (2002)
Tress MacNeille: Kid #2 in 'Soccer Mummy', Mrs. Witherball, Lindsay Naegle, Barbara, Starr
Quotes
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Homer : I was just telling all the guys how losing the power of speech made me a better man.
Lindsay Naegle : I couldn't agree more. You're today's modern, enlightened man; the kind we television producers have been booking since the mid-'70s.
Carl : Hey, what are you doin' in here?
Lindsay Naegle : I'm an alcoholic. Homer, will you appear on my show?
Homer : Sure thing, Alky.
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Joy : Homelah, it's easy to change, but what's hard is not changing back.
Barbara : Do you promise not to revive your "weckless, weckless" ways?
Homer : I don't know. The demolition derby is next month.
Marge : Please, Homie. No more craziness, for me?
Homer : Well, okay. For you, I'll be as dull as Dilbert.
Barbara : Very good. Our next topic, "My son still wets the bed."
Milhouse : [entering with his mother] You told me we were going to Red Lobster!
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Barbara : Well, Marge told us, when you didn't listen, it led to reckless, criminal behavior.
Marge : He did such crazy things. Roll the clip.
Homer : [at a cookout] Ostrich burgers! Get your ostrich burgers!
Lenny : I'll take one.
Homer : Okay, you pick one out and I'll punch it to death.
Lenny : [thinking] Hmm...
Homer : [going to the bird Lenny indicates] Hey, there, little sweet...
[he punches it in the stomach; in retaliation, it wraps its neck around his and kicks him in the stomach]
Homer : Oh, dude, I thought we were friends!
