The Simpsons (TV Series)
Lisa's First Word (1992)
Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson, Chipwich Salesman, Grampa Simpson, Krusty the Clown, Kim Huang, Boxing Commentator
Quotes
-
Marge : Oh Maggie, when are you going to talk?
Lisa Simpson : Well, don't push her. Remember, it is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than open your mouth and remove all doubt.
Homer : [thinking] What does that mean? Better say something or they'll think you're stupid.
[outloud]
Homer : Takes one to know one.
[thinking]
Homer : Swish!
-
Marge : I'm afraid we're going to need a bigger place.
Homer : No, we won't. I've got it all figured out. The baby can have Bart's crib and Bart can sleep with us until he's 21.
Marge : Won't that warp him?
Homer : My cousin Frank did it.
Marge : You don't have a cousin Frank.
Homer : He became Francine in '76. Then he joined that cult. I think his name is Mother Shabubu now.
-
Krusty the Clown : [on TV, smoking and crying] You people are pigs! I, personally, am gonna to spit in every fiftieth burger!
Homer : [watching] I like those odds.
-
Homer : It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.
-
Krusty the Clown : Krustyburger is the meat flavored sandwhich of the 1984 Olympics. Just scratch the game space on your card and if the US wins a gold medal you get a free Krustyburger... Mmm mmm mmm!
[Director yells "CUT"]
Krusty the Clown : BLECH! Oh I almost swallowed some of the juice.
[Produces a flask and rinses his mouth and spits]
Krusty the Clown : Ugh, I'll be tasting that for weeks.
Krusty's Accountant : Great spot, K.C.!
Krusty the Clown : Put a sock in it, preppy! How much are these free burgers gonna cost me?
Krusty's Accountant : Not to worry, Mr. K. We rigged the cards. They're all in events the communists never lose.
Krusty the Clown : I like, I like!
Krusty's Asistant : This just came over the wires, Big K!
Krusty the Clown : [reading] Ah huh. Soviet boycott... U.S. unopposed in most events... how does this affect our giveaway?
Krusty's Accountant : Let's see...
[punches up the numbers]
Krusty's Accountant : You personally stand to lose 44 million dollars.
Krusty the Clown : [cries loudly] OHHH ho ho ho... Oy!
-
Marge : I saved this saved the newspaper from the day Lisa was born.
Lisa Simpson : [reading] Mondale to Hart: Where's the beef.
Bart : Where's the beef? What the hell's that supposed to mean?
Homer : [laughing] Heh heh heh heh heh. Where's the beef. No wonder he won Minnesota.
-
Olympics Commentator #1 : Oh doctor, we are seconds away from the 100-meter butterfly, and with the East German "women" shaving their backs 9000 miles away, the Americans are heavy favorites.
Homer : Patience, my pet.
Olympics Commentator #1 : And the Americans jump out to an early lead!
Olympics Commentator #2 : Although we should point that many of the other women represent countries that don't have swimming pools.
Olympics Commentator #1 : Boo hoo! You're breakin' my heart!