The Simpsons (TV Series)

Simpson Tide (1998)

Harry Shearer: Donut Judge, Smithers, Mr. Burns, Skinner, Kent Brockman, United States Representative, Russian Officer

Photos 

Quotes 

• Kent Brockman : Could Homer Simpson be a communist? His father spoke out on his behalf.

  Grampa Simpson : My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is *not* a porn star!

• Russian Representative : The Soviet Union will be pleased to offer amnesty to your wayward vessel.

  United States Representative : Soviet Union? I thought you guys broke up.

  Russian Representative : Nyet! That's what we wanted you to think, hahahahahaha!

• Smithers : [after a disaster involving a donut]  Uh, sir, we found the problem. Some idiot threw this in the reactor core.

  Homer : Success!

  Mr. Burns : [incredulous]  *You* did this? How could you be so irresponsible?

  Homer : Uh, it's my first day.

  Mr. Burns : Since I've never seen you before, maybe it is your first day. Very well! Carry on.

  [begins to walk away] 

  Smithers : Uh, sir. That's Homer Simpson. He's been working here for ten years!

  Mr. Burns : [walking back to Homer]  Oh really! Why did you think you could lie to me?

  Homer : It's my first day.

  Mr. Burns : Well, why didn't you say...

  Mr. Burns : [realizes]  WHOA! YOU'RE FIRED!

• Naval Captain : Attention, Homer Simpson: you have ten seconds to explain yourself before we open fire.

  Homer Simpson : [into megaphone]  Umm... it's my first day!

  [Captain and crew laugh] 

  Homer Simpson : [to Spanish fleet]  Es mi dia primero!

  [Captain and crew laugh] 

  Homer Simpson : [to Chinese fleet]  Pu gong quan chu chon gong tshoo!

  [Captain and crew laugh] 

  Homer Simpson : [to S.S. Antarctica]  Quack, quack, quack.

  [penguins chuckle] 

• Naval Officer : Seaman Simpson, you've given the Navy a black eye from which it may never recover. I would throw the book at you, but I've been indicted in the Tailhook scandal. Goodbye!