- Marge: Every truckload of fish we gut brings us 31 cents closer to those tickets home.
- Bart: And I think I've finally found what I was put on this earth to do
- [guts some fishes]
- Bart: knife goes in, guts come out, knife goes in, guts come out
- [pulls out a talking fish]
- Fish: Spare my life and I will grant you three...
- Bart: [guts the talking fish] Knife goes in, guts come out.
- Homer Simpson: If we want to see Japanese people, we can just go to the zoo.
- Marge Simpson: [mortified] Homer!
- Homer Simpson: What? The guy who washes the elephants is Japanese... his name is Takashi... he's in my book club.
- Japanese Stewardess: [Seeing Bart playing his Game Boy] I'm sorry, you should not have on any electronic devices.
- Bart Simpson: You're the boss.
- [Bart turns off his Game Boy, then the plane takes a nose dive]
- Japanese Stewardess: [Frantically] Turn it back on, turn it back on!
- Homer Simpson: [about his time in a Japanese prison] I had to do a stupid Kabuki play about the 47 Ronin, I wanted to be Yoshi but they made me Ori.
- Lisa Simpson: Wow dad, you're surfing like a pro.
- Homer Simpson: Oh yeah. I'm betting on Jai Alai in the Cayman Islands, I invested in something called News Corp...
- Lisa Simpson: Dad, that's Fox!
- Homer Simpson: Augh! Undo! Undo!
- Homer Simpson: Hey, you know, I once knew a man from Nantucket.
- Bart Simpson: And?
- Homer Simpson: Let's just say the stories about him are greatly exaggerated.
- Lisa Simpson: Now, can we do something that is Japanese?
- Marge Simpson: Oh, I know that you wanna visit Japan, honey but we're down to our million yen
- [pulls a yen bill out of her hair]
- Homer Simpson: Here
- [Takes the yen bill and makes an origami craine]
- Homer Simpson: It's a craine they say it brings luck.
- Marge Simpson: Careful Homer, we need that money to get home.
- [Then the wind picks up and blows the bill away]
- Homer Simpson: [In Japanese] D'oh!
- Wink, the Game Show Host: Here are the categories.
- [the categories are in Japanese]
- Wink, the Game Show Host: Ow, that hurts, Why are you doing this to me, and Please let me die.
- Wink, the Game Show Host: Welcome to our contestants from America, the Simpson family.
- Marge Simpson: [bowing] You honor us!
- Wink, the Game Show Host: Don't patronize me.
- Lisa Simpson: Hey look. There's a cybor cafe opening right here in Springfield. Will you take me dad? Please! I'll show you how to order pizza over the internet.
- Homer Simpson: The internet? Is that thing still around?
- Bart Simpson: I know a website that shows monkeys doing it.
- Lisa Simpson: Bart, the internet is more than a global pornography network, it's a...
- [Homer honks his car horn]
- Homer Simpson: Come on Lisa, monkeys!
- [Lisa groans]
- Marge: Ooh. I never knew Jim Belushi made so many movies.
- Homer: Yeah, isn't it amazing? They're filming one right now in the bathroom. It's gonna be on towards the end of the flight.
- [a camera crew films Jim Belushi walking down the aisle]
- Belushi: Toga. Toga. Toga 2000.
- Homer: Marge. They stole my idea.