- Lisa Simpson: I hate going to the zoo. I feel so sorry for the animals.
- Homer Simpson: Lisa, the zoo opens up a whole new world for the animals. In the wild, they would never experience boredom, obesity, loss of purpose - you know, the American Dream.
- Kang: [using the Accele-Ray to speed up the World Series] Faster! Faster! Until the fabric of the universe itself may shatter!
- Kodos: Good. Only then could the Cubs win!
- [Lisa wakes Homer up after he has a nightmare inspired by A.I. Artificial Intelligence]
- Lisa Simpson: Dad, wake up! You're not a robot! You're just possessed by the devil.
- Priest: The power of Christ compels thee!
- [the Priest splashes holy water on Homer, causing him to growl, flip his head around, and crawl up the walls]
- Marge Simpson: [sighs] I'll call work and tell them you can't make it.
- Homer Simpson: Woo-hoo!
- [collapses onto the bed, head still backwards]
- Homer Simpson: Heh heh heh, suckers.
- Carl: Homer, Burns has only been chasing us for six hours and you already resorted to cannibalism.
- Lenny: And there's bananas in that tree up there.
- Homer Simpson: Uh, they look a little green.
- Robot: [Homer abandons Bart in the woods where he has to spend the night with robots] Don't fear us. We're gentle robots, who were cast-off just like you.
- Bart Simpson: I'm not a robot. I'm human.
- Robot: Tell me, young man, what is it like to have feelings?
- Bart Simpson: I said I'm a human, not a girl.