- Col. Steve Austin: How many times do I gotta prove to you that I'm a lumberjack?
- Jeremy Burke: [sighs] You're still working on the first time.
- Kelly Wixted: What are you doing here? Jeremy told me he sent you to work on the West Ridge.
- Col. Steve Austin: Yeah, well, eh, I finished up on the trees he showed me and I wasn't sure which ones he wanted to cut next.
- Kelly Wixted: Probably some of the ones with branches on them.
- Col. Steve Austin: Right.
- Col. Steve Austin: Well Oscar, you sure you don't wanna lumber along with us?
- Oscar Goldman: You're barking up the wrong tree, pal.
- Jeremy Burke: I better not see you down in camp 'til you're finished here... or you can kiss your axe good bye.
- Dr. Morton Craig: Lock them up in that explosives shed down the road. Stand on guard at a distance. If they try to escape, put a bullet in a case of explosives and blow them up!
- Col. Steve Austin: Could you use another hand?
- Kelly Wixted: Are you kidding? If I had you around full time, I wouldn't need anybody else.
- Oscar Goldman: You can have him part of the time, that's all.
- Kelly Wixted: Well that's a whole lot better than nothing.
- Col. Steve Austin: [climbing into the boat with Kelly to resume following the old lobster boat that's towing a huge load of logs] Well, Oscar, are you sure you don't want to lumber along with us?
- Oscar Goldman: [smiling in amusement at Steve's clever pun, and in preparation to making one of his own] You're barking up the wrong tree, pal!