- Dr. Merlot: Here, Ms. Cummings, taste this.
- B.J. Cummings: Sure. I like tasting things.
- [gulping down her glass of wine]
- B.J. Cummings: Ahh!
- Dr. Merlot: When you taste the wine, you're supposed to spit it out.
- B.J. Cummings: Call me crazy, but I like to swallow.
- Mayor Anita Massengil: You know, I could say many great things about Notch Johnson, but a funeral is hardly the place for that.
- Mayor Anita Massengil: Yoo-hoo, everyone. I have incredible news.
- Kimberlee Clark, Jamaica St. Croix: They found Notch and B.J,?
- Mayor Anita Massengil: Oh, god, no.
- B.J. Cummings: I slept like a pussy cat. How 'bout you, Notch?
- Notch Johnson: Well, the room was really comfortable, but it's kinda hard to wash your face with hot and cold running Merlot.
- Dr. Merlot: I used to be an avid big-game hunter, but, um... you get a little bored. So now I yearn to hunt an animal that can think.
- B.J. Cummings: Like a giraffe?
- Notch Johnson: No, B.J., he means a moose.
- Dr. Merlot: No. I mean a human being. Why do you think I shot your plane down? You see those two plaques on the wall?
- [they turn and see empty plaques labeld "Notch Johnson" and "B.J. Cummings"]
- Dr. Merlot: Those are meant for you. Now, are you game?