"Son of the Beach" The Long Hot Johnson (TV Episode 2002) - Amy Weber as Porcelain Bidet

Porcelain Bidet : Snuggles and I are applying for membership to the exclusive South Malibu Adjacent Country Club, so would you say I'm mayflower wite, lily white, or ivory white?

Jamaica St. Croix : Maybe I should join that club now that Mama Okrah gave me some of her jing.

Porcelain Bidet : And which shade of white are you?

Jamaica St. Croix : Uh, Barry White?

Porcelain Bidet : Anyways, I've gotta get ready for the New Member Dance on Saturday night. You know, Kimberlee, the night you stay home and sob?

Kimberlee Clark : Well, have a good time, and I hope you die soon.
Kimberlee Clark : [Porcelain and Pussy save the others from Bull] Porcelain, isn't this a little out of character for you?

Porcelain Bidet : Don't get used to it. It was mostly her idea, anyways. Believe it or not, I really like Pussy.
Bull Cracker : Would you do me...

Porcelain Bidet : Yes.

Bull Cracker : ...the honor of dancing with me?

Porcelain Bidet : Oh, sure. That, too.
Bull Cracker : You know Notch Johnson?

Porcelain Bidet : That tall man with the overbite and the weasel on his head?
Porcelain Bidet : All my life I've dreamt of belonging to a country club where rich people drink fancy cocktails, play golf, and cheat on their spouses.

Amy Weber: Porcelain Bidet