- Cher: Gee wiz, Burt, gosh allmighty, you're not only attractive, you're witty. You are witty and you're intelligent, you're exciting, you're masculine...
- Burt Reynolds: Don't search for words, go on!
- Adam: [Adam has just set eyes on Eve for the first time] Oh! Another man! You're really beautiful, and I must be sick!
- Snake: [Adam and Eve have just been expelled from the Garden of Eden] They're foolin' around out there, and I'm stuck here with a bunch of fruits!
- Wild Bill Hickok: Just my luck. First time I get to play a white guy in a Western and the Indians beat the daylights outta me!
- Steve Martin: The Academy Award committee today announced that if George C. Scott wins the Oscar did year, they will not give it to him. Scott replied: Good, in that case, I'll accept it.