The Sopranos (TV Series)

Do Not Resuscitate (2000)

James Gandolfini: Tony Soprano

Photos 

Quotes 

• Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Jesus Christ, you scared the shit out of me!

  Reverend James Sr. : Jesus ain't got nothing to do with it.

• Silvio Dante : [to Bobby Baccalieri after he walks in]  you're late

  Tony Soprano : [Meeting privately with Bobby after business hours in the back of Satriale's Pork Store with Pussy, Paulie, and Silvio,present, referring to Bobby as the last member of Junior's crew that's still alive]  Bobby Baccalieri: "the last man standing"

  Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri : I don't want to say nothing

  Salvatore 'Big Pussy' Bonpensiero : You don't want to get yourself in trouble

  Tony Soprano : A lot of funerals in your corner of the world huh Bobby? Don't look at the floor, look at me. I want you to talk to that bald cock sucker who calls himself "my brother's father." Tell him we're going to let him keep on earning: "subsistence level." He'll be able to pay his defense lawyers

  Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri : Alright, let me say for him: thank you

  Tony Soprano : Now you're going to hear some "high end" shit and A, I hope you can understand it and B I hope you keep it between this room and Junior because if you don't I promise you they're going to find you in eight different dumpsters

  Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri : I inherited Junior. I don't think you got the reasons to talk to me this way. I always liked you

  Tony Soprano : Bullshit, but we'll assume you do now. You tell my uncle he gets to keep five percent of his shy, the sports betting, same with the coke, the joint union is all his ok?

  Tony Soprano : Now bobby listen, this is very important: he also gets to keep his "stripes", as far as the Feds are concerned they got the boss of this family in jail awaiting trial and if they hear different it creates confusion

  Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri : Got it

  Tony Soprano : As far as the rest of Junior owns, it's all mine

  Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri : I'll get this to him Tony

  Tony Soprano : That's it

  Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri : Unintentionally misquotes the words of Senator William L. Marcy. "To the victor, belongs the spoils"

  Tony Soprano : Why don't you get the fuck out of here before I shove your quotations book up your fat fuckin ass?

• Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [Referring to Bobby Baccala]  if I'd known you were going to get out so fast for this medical shit, I never would've talked to that calzone with legs

  Junior Soprano : He gave me the message

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [after Junior remains silent]  don't fuckin pout, be grateful I'm letting you earn

  Junior Soprano : What's on your mind?

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [after looking around in the doctor's office]  how'd you "swing" this?

  Junior Soprano : This Dr. Schreck is Mani Schreck's kid

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Mani the bookie's son? His cardiologist. It's not bad

  Junior Soprano : The law says the Feds can't bug your doctor's office. He lets me use this place whenever I need to conduct business

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : So you heard about Massarone construction?

  Junior Soprano : Bacala's taken care of it. The joint fitters know he speaks for me

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : It's got to go sixty forty my way

  Junior Soprano : Did you do what I asked?

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : What'd you ask me to do?

  Junior Soprano : You know, make peace

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Now you listen: enough with that shit, that woman's dead to me. You let it go

  Junior Soprano : Why the fuck should I? She's my brother's wife. She doesn't realize what she says half the time

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Let's put our cards on the table here. I heard your radio debut on those tapes the Feds made at Green Grove so doesn't know what she's saying half the time, well which half did you listen to? The half that doesn't make any sense? Or the half that we know that played you like a fuckin child?

  Junior Soprano : Nobody played me. She didn't know that she was setting you up to get popped. That's right, your uncle isn't as dumb you think. You, that miserable fuck Altieri the rat bastard all my capos meeting behind my back

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : You let sleeping dogs lie ok? I have my reasons

  Junior Soprano : I'll tell you one dog you left still barking: that fuckin Freddie Capuano that mother-less money grubbing little son of a bitch

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : The guy that owns Green Grove retirement community?

  Junior Soprano : His like an old fuckin lady and has been going around telling Soprano business to anybody that'll listen. His the one that's been saying shit about you trying to whack your mother.

• Carmela Soprano : [During family dinner]  what? Did everybody take a "vow of silence" or something? Nobody's got nothing to report?

  A.J. Soprano : I've got to write a report on DNA for biology

  Carmela Soprano : Isn't that interesting? I just saw on Inside Edition how there will be no more "unknown soldiers" because of DNA now: they will be able to identify every single casualty of combat

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [to Meadow]  pass me some of the macaroni and cheese?

  Janice Soprano : You know Tony, I know you don't like to talk about her but that woman is impossible: she's a complete narcissist, I mean she's always "me, me, me". Really kudos, you are a saint

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : You were right the first time, I don't want to talk about it

  Meadow Soprano : [to Tony and Janice]  you were talking about grandma?

  Janice Soprano : When she pushes those buttons, she's a big baby you know?

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [to Janice, irritated]  this is my house, how many times I do have to say it?

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [Sarcastically to Meadow after she makes an insulting comment]  you got something to say? The little girl's about to get her license might want to drive one of those cars in the driveway in the next hundred years

  Janice Soprano : It's my fault Meadow, I was "insensitive" to his feelings

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [to Janice]  thank you

  Carmela Soprano : [to Janice and Tony, referring to them peacefully resolving an argument]  you see that? You see how easy that was?

  Janice Soprano : [Sarcastically to Tony]  so Mr. "delegated Power of Attorney", have you given it any thought? Can my girlfriend have the listing? You know? The house?

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [Referring to their mother's home]  as long as it gets sold, I don't give a fuck who lists it

  A.J. Soprano : [Making a joke]  hey, what did one prick say to the other prick?

  Carmela Soprano : [to Tony]  you see that? See what happens with you cursing at the dinner table?

• Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : If I were you, I would seriously consider salads!

  [Leaves] 

  Bobby "Bacala" Baccalieri : Why won't you take a look in a mirror, you insensitive fuck!

• Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [while visiting him in prison, talking through telephone intercom]  three fuckin weeks it took you to put me on your visitor's list?

  Junior Soprano : I was being careful: these motherless fucks listen to everything

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : A nephew is visiting his uncle... who loves him

  Junior Soprano : I got nothing to say to you

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : So many tragedies and near tragedies close to you huh?

  Junior Soprano : Don't be so smart: things could've gone the other way my little nephew

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Yeah but they didn't. So what's all this shit I'm hearing about your heart?

  Junior Soprano : This problem between you and me had, I want you to know your mother had nothing to do with it

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : She's dead to me

  Junior Soprano : She's a sick woman, she don't have all her marbles

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Who the fuck you kiddin? It's killing you that people are talkin and an old woman made an asshole out of you

  Junior Soprano : That's half as bad are the rumors floating around this place is about you: how Tony Soprano likes to fluff up his mother's pillows so she can get a nice long sleep

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Who said that?

  Junior Soprano : You want to make all this nonsense disappear? Make peace with her: make it look like there's no bad blood, it'll be good for all of us

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : No fuckin way. You tell that fat fuck Bacala, to come out from his mouse hole, I want to see him tomorrow

  Junior Soprano : [Before Tony angrily hangs up the phone and leaves]  what for?

• Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [while in his driveway]  hey, I want to talk to you. The fuck you were doing with that real estate sign?

  Janice Soprano : Oh yeah, I wanted to talk to you about that

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : I'm selling Ma's house, do you understand? I want that fuckin sign in the fuckin ground and that's it: end of discussion, period!

  Janice Soprano : You're so "left brained". Whether the sign's there or not, the house is still for sale. The real estate agent still has the listing

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Yeah? Then what was the sign doing in the back of your car? And don't try to deny it

  Janice Soprano : Because I'm trying to save a little money, is that alright? Do you remember Kathy Fiaola? She was in my class at Sacred Heart? With the birthmark?

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [Not remembering, irritated]  what about her?

  Janice Soprano : She's in real estate now: she said she would only charge three percent commission, that's half alright? Thousands of dollars, I mean it may not seem like a lot of money to you but maybe Ma could use it?

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Yeah? Fuck her? And next time you disappear for a week take that piece of shit and park it in the street: this isn't a fuckin hotel

• Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [meeting privately]  Talk to me

  Jack Massarone : [referring to slang for African Americans]  These fuckin ditsoon activists. Their killing me: their picketing at my place twenty four seven. Three days I'm down already

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Who?

  Jack Massarone : This hard on, Reverend Herman James Jr. His an old song, not enough minorities doing the joint fitting

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : You were told the joint fitters are my uncle's jurisdiction

  Jack Massarone : I know but if you could pave the way and talk to your uncle? See if maybe send some guys down there and you know, make it uncomfortable for these people? Like you did with your unions before

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : It's gonna cost you

  Jack Massarone : Besides what you're already raping me for those no show electrician jobs?

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : You're not such a fuckin citizen when you want the construction to go your way, are ya?

  Jack Massarone : Ok, ok, take it easy

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [referring to calling the police]  alright, I'll see what I can do. In the meantime, call Animal Control

• Janice Soprano : I'm sorry Tony but the hospital's going to need a decision on this. If you're going to have Power of Attorney, you're going to have to act like one

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Who gives a fuck, DNR or no DNR?

  Janice Soprano : Yeah ok, great, so what happens when she goes into a coma and they have to keep her alive with tubes and machines because you won't sign the DNR?

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [raises his voice]  what? When she becomes a vegetable, she's not going to give a fuck about anything

  Janice Soprano : To deprive her a place to live: to deprive me of my chance to make peace with my mother

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : You know what? Take her, you can have her. The two of you in that house, you deserve each other. It'll be worth it just to watch, it'll be like what happened to baby Janice over there. I'll give you your fuckin DNR

• Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [Meeting privately, referring to him going on a diet]  I think it's time you started seriously considering salads

  Bobby "Bacala" Baccalieri : [confused]  What'd you mean?

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [while Bobby leans on Tony's SUV]  what do I mean? I mean get off my car before you flip it over you fat fuck

  Bobby "Bacala" Baccalieri : [after handing Tony an envelope of cash, referring to staging a riot at the construction site]  Junior wants to know when?

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Tomorrow morning: we're short a couple of guys so make sure your there

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [Before driving away]  consider it exercise

  Bobby "Bacala" Baccalieri : Fat fuck, why don't you look in the mirror sometime, you insensitive cocksucker?

• Janice Soprano : [while in Tony's backyard]  I miss the fireflies out west

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : It's why I moved out here: a little bit of nature

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [Before she shakes her head]  listen, when you were in Seattle, you ever drive by Jimi Hendrix's house?

  Janice Soprano : No. You know I know it's not your favorite subject but we had some really good news about ma at the hospital today: her rehab therapist said she's making tremendous strides and it's not going to be long before they release her

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : How can she make tremendous strides when there's nothing wrong with her in the first place?

  Janice Soprano : It's called "face saving therapy." The patient has to believe that their getting therapy. Believe me, Medicare is not gonna pay for it if it's not as necessary as "real" therapy, would they?

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : And the taxpayer "foots" the bill

  Janice Soprano : It's not much longer now, she's gonna need a place to stay

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [dismissively]  she's out in the street

  Janice Soprano : It is her house

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [reminding her of what he previously thinks about their mother "She's dead to me"]  "dead" people don't have houses

  Janice Soprano : Daddy bought that house

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : I'll tell you what, take her back to Green Grove

  Janice Soprano : What? The nursing home?

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [Irritated, insisting there's a difference]  it's a "retirement community"

  Janice Soprano : You know I don't have that kind of money

  Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [after he ignores her]  fuck you