The Sopranos (TV Series)

The Telltale Moozadell (2001)

Edie Falco: Carmela Soprano

Quotes 

• Carmela Soprano : Jackie Junior took her into the city to see, "Aida".

  Tony Soprano : I ate her?

• Carmela Soprano : Your father and I have discussed your punishment

  Tony Soprano : Your grounded for a month. That means no Nintendo, no DVD's, no skate boards

  Carmela Soprano : And no computer

  A.J. Soprano : I use the computer for school

  Carmela Soprano : Get the typewriter out of the basement

  A.J. Soprano : Dad threw it out

  Carmela Soprano : Then use a pen. It worked for Einstein, it can work for you

  Tony Soprano : On top of that you're going to work your little ass off around here which you should have been doing anyway

  A.J. Soprano : OK

  Tony Soprano : OK or not, you got no choice. Number one you go to the garage and clean it out, make it neat and organized

  Carmela Soprano : Jackie Jr. did that the other day

  Tony Soprano : [to Carmela]  See what I'm saying about him?

  Tony Soprano : [to AJ]  You know you ought to take a few lessons from Jackie Aprile. Get your act together, the kid's pre-med at Rutgers and finds time to come down here and help out

  Carmela Soprano : And your going to clean the gutters

  A.J. Soprano : What gutters?

  Tony Soprano : On the roof

  A.J. Soprano : Where?

  Tony Soprano : On the edge, the things that collect the water?

  A.J. Soprano : I don't know what you mean

  Tony Soprano : [Assuming AJ is playing dumb to get out of the punishment]  Don't get smart with me

  A.J. Soprano : I don't know

• Principal Cincotta : Verbum Dei has a strict zero tolerance policy in cases of vandalism. It's a policy that demands the immediate expulsion of the offending student

  Tony Soprano : [to the principal then to AJ]  I told him, you see?

  Principal Cincotta : Having said that in this case after much deliberation and assessment, we have decided on a "suspended sentence." This consideration has only been arrived at upon Anthony's academic performance and his involvement in extracurricular sport

  Carmela Soprano : His academic performance?

  Principal Cincotta : His brought his GPA up to a C...

  Tony Soprano : So, what is the punishment?

  Principal Cincotta : We suggest and hope that Anthony's punishment be meaded out parentally

  Carmela Soprano : So, it's not exactly "zero tolerance?"

  Father Nicolai : Each child is special: that's the guiding principal of this school too

  Tony Soprano : What about detention?

  Principal Cincotta : A lawsuit a few years back forced us to eliminate our detention program

  Tony Soprano : Well, his off the football team right?

  Father Nicolai : No

  Principal Cincotta : Studies done at Harvard and elsewhere have shown that boys have greater success in avoiding the pitfalls of adolescent when committed to and involved in sport

  Tony Soprano : [to AJ]  You better wipe that smile off your face

  Tony Soprano : Look, I told him his going to be off the team. Now aren't you kind of...

  Carmela Soprano : [Interrupts him]  undermining...

  Father Nicolai : [Interrupts her]  It's not only skill that Anthony has shown on the field, it's also leadership qualities as well. We feel that it'll be against his best interests and the team's to sever his relationship with the squad

  Tony Soprano : Well, if you think that's best

  Principal Cincotta : However, and I can't this strong enough, if there is one more infraction of our code, the sentence will be immediately go into effect and Anthony will be expelled

  Principal Cincotta : [Leans forward]  do you understand this Anthony?

  A.J. Soprano : Yes

• Carmela Soprano : I cannot believe this. Do you know how serious this is?

  Carmela Soprano : [after AJ remains silent]  do you? Answer me right now

  A.J. Soprano : Yes

  Carmela Soprano : Yes what?

  A.J. Soprano : I know it's serious

  Carmela Soprano : So, why did you do it?

  A.J. Soprano : I don't know

  Carmela Soprano : Why did you do it? Do you hate the school? Do you have a problem with someone there or something?

  A.J. Soprano : No

  Carmela Soprano : Then why?

  A.J. Soprano : It just happened. We went swimming as a group. Someone threw something in the pool. Couple of guys started throwing stuff into the pool. We just did it

  Carmela Soprano : And if they were "just" jumping off the George Washington Bridge would you "just" do that too?

  A.J. Soprano : No

  Tony Soprano : [Asking why AJ is home when he should be in school]  what're you doing here?

  Carmela Soprano : Answer your father

  A.J. Soprano : I got sent home

  Tony Soprano : Why?

  Tony Soprano : [Raising his voice after AJ remains silent]  Why?

  A.J. Soprano : I got into trouble

  Carmela Soprano : Your son broke into his school Friday night and vandalized the swimming pool

  Tony Soprano : How do you vandalize a swimming pool?

  Carmela Soprano : Threw a bunch of stuff in it and broke things

  Tony Soprano : What'd you do that for?

  A.J. Soprano : Screwing around

  Tony Soprano : [Smacks his head]  on your mother's birthday?

  A.J. Soprano : It wasn't. It was after midnight

  Tony Soprano : What're you fuckin stupid? So are you suspended?

  A.J. Soprano : I don't know

  Carmela Soprano : Tony, do you know how serious this is? He may be expelled

  Tony Soprano : What'd they say?

  A.J. Soprano : Nothing, they just sent me home. They said to bring your parents into the principal's office

  Tony Soprano : On your mother's birthday

  A.J. Soprano : They're going to call you

  Tony Soprano : Just when everything was going good, your going to miss the big game. Your screwing everything up. Your football career down the drain!

• Tony Soprano : [referring to the birthday gift he bought her]  The ring looks beautiful on you

  Carmela Soprano : It is gorgeous: is there anything you need to tell me?

  Tony Soprano : About the ring?

  Carmela Soprano : I don't know, you didn't buy that little car you were talking about

  Tony Soprano : Mercedes? I look like a douche bag in one of those

  Carmela Soprano : Jean Cusamano calls your cars a midlife crisis mobiles

  Tony Soprano : What the fuck does she know?

  Tony Soprano : [when Carmela sighs]  What?

  Carmela Soprano : [referring to them dating]  I don't know, I'm m not thrilled about this thing with Jackie and Meadow. I think she came home and he came over so they can go out tonight

  Tony Soprano : So what? He's a good kid, comes from good stock

  Carmela Soprano : His been on his best behavior lately, I can't deny that. I just never pictured Meadow with someone like him

  Tony Soprano : Someone like him? His one of us

  Tony Soprano : [referring to Noah Tannenbaum, her previous boyfriend, a Jewish African American]  Don't tell me you were happy when she was going out with that Jamal Ginsberg, Hasidic homeboy?

  Carmela Soprano : I just don't want her to miss the opportunities that are available to her: she should be at the Museum of Modern Art in her free time, not watching TV at Rosalie Aprile's

  Tony Soprano : Oh, you'd rather have her look at pictures of soup cans than be close to home?

  Carmela Soprano : [sighs]  I don't know

  Tony Soprano : Well, you talk to her and I'll talk to Jackie Jr.

• Carmela Soprano : [after meeting with AJ's principle and football coach to discuss his punishment for vandalizing the swimming pool]  you completely sold us out in there

  Tony Soprano : what'd I do?

  Carmela Soprano : they're not punishing him at all and you went right along with it

  Tony Soprano : I suggested detention

  Carmela Soprano : that whole "thing" was a disgusting charade so the freshman football team can win the big game

  Tony Soprano : we've been waiting for years for him to get off the couch, this is good for him

  Carmela Soprano : oh, please

  Tony Soprano : we should keep this in the family: punish him at home, he ain't getting off that easy

• Meadow Soprano : So, I've been thinking about getting a car

  Tony Soprano : I knew I was going to get hit up for something on this trip

  Meadow Soprano : What? You can spend thousands on sapphires but a hard working student has to take the bus everywhere?

  Tony Soprano : You live a block away the school, what'd you need a car for?

  Meadow Soprano : It'd be nice to hop in a car to have dinner with you guys once in a while

  Carmela Soprano : They steal cars left and right in New York: parking is impossible besides the bus gets you here in forty-five minutes

  Meadow Soprano : I'm not asking for anything fancy, just something to get me around

  Tony Soprano : You could've had a car last year but you chose not to take it

  Meadow Soprano : Eric's car. Is that a sick joke? It may interest you to know his father is now in a mental health facility in Nevada

  Carmela Soprano : Why don't you wait and see how this semester goes? You were just complaining on how there's so much work you had to do. Don't you think you should concentrate on that?

  Meadow Soprano : I am concentrating, what the hell do you think I am? Jesus Christ you sound like a broken record

  Tony Soprano : Hey!

  Carmela Soprano : Keep it down a notch. We just want to make sure your taking advantage all the city has to offer you. Culturally, socially, and educationally

• Rosalie Aprile : I'd like to make a toast: the blossoming friendship between our two children. I'm very happy to see my son spending time with someone like Meadow: she'll be a wonderful influence on him. You did a great job

  Carmela Soprano : Thank you, solute

  Rosalie Aprile : It's nice to see our families unite, isn't it? Like with Ralphie, he goes and on about Tony and the promotion, his really happy getting close to him

  Carmela Soprano : Ralph is a "real find", you hang onto him

  Rosalie Aprile : It was tough at first, I was afraid everyone was gonna thought I rushed it, that I didn't mourn Jack enough

  Carmela Soprano : [after Artie walks by their table, not paying attention to them]  I think his under a lot of pressure, I heard Charmaine hired a lawyer

  Rosalie Aprile : Divorce? You know it's funny but you'd think the men in our lives have been... you know and we stay together and here's Artie a regular guy, hardworking and his marriage is in the toilet

  Carmela Soprano : You can only push a man so far

  Rosalie Aprile : True, very true