The Sopranos (TV Series)
Whoever Did This (2002)
James Gandolfini: Tony Soprano
Photos
Quotes
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Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Jesus Christ, you did it. You cooked that fuckin' horse alive!
Ralph Cifaretto : No, I did NOT! But so what?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : So what?
Ralph Cifaretto : It was a fucking animal! A hundred grand a piece! My kid's in a fuckin' hospital! I don't hear you complaining though, when I bring you a nice fat envelope, you don't give a shit where that comes from! Don't give me that look! It was a fucking horse! What are you, a vegetarian? You eat beef and sausage by the cartload!
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Christopher Moltisanti : [grabs hold of Ralph's hair and it comes clean off - it's a wig he's been wearing all along to hide his baldness] Aahh! Holy shit! I had no idea. Did you?
Tony Soprano : Course I did. You're so high on scag, you wouldn't know if he had your mother's muff on his head.
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Tony Soprano : [Beating and strangling Ralph over Pie-O-My's death] She was a beautiful innocent creature, what'd she ever do to you? You fuckin' killed her! You killed her, you fuckin' killed her!
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Christopher Moltisanti : [on Ralph] That poor fucking guy.
Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri : Fuck him and his alligator tears.
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Please, his kid's in a hospital, a little fucking sympathy!
Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri : That gives him a pass? I don't care if he's got a hundred kids in the hospital with arrows in their heads, he's a piece of shit! You know it, and I know it.
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[Tony and Christopher are dragging a dismembered body through the woods]
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : You got your whole life in front of you. You want to throw it all away on drugs?
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Tony Soprano : [about Ralph's death] Whoever did this, it should have happened a long time ago.
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Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [to Paulie referring to Ralph] you lay a hand on him and you're going to answer to me, if you can quote the rules you can fucking obey them, do you understand?
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Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : I was just down at the stables. I got some bad news: Pie-o-My, she was in a fire. She's dead
Ralph Cifaretto : Wow, oh Jesus. That's why Lois called me and left four messages on the machine
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Three other horses too
Ralph Cifaretto : Jesus, oh Tone I just made some coffee and eggs
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Sorry about the timing
Ralph Cifaretto : [Referring to his son's accident] oh no, actually I got some good news on Justin. They think it'll just be speech. Poor kid will have to learn how to talk all over again, and years of rehab
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : That's good
Ralph Cifaretto : Walk and use his hands. Life goes on huh? One day at a time
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Lois said the horse was still alive. It was burnt so bad, they had to put it out of its misery
Ralph Cifaretto : I don't even want to think about it
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : At this point, the fire Marshall said it looks "accidental."
Ralph Cifaretto : What sick fuck would do something like that on purpose huh?
Ralph Cifaretto : [while making breakfast eggs] you know I was telling Justin's mother sour cream is the secret ingredient
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Right, what sick fuck?
Ralph Cifaretto : What?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : It's funny about God, fate, and shit like that. The horse gets better and we take out two hundred grand insurance in the race coming up. Suddenly there's a fire
Ralph Cifaretto : What're you saying? You think I had something to do with it?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : I didn't
Ralph Cifaretto : Anthony, what're you a horse investigator now? Come on, they said it was an accident, right?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : You know what? Maybe I will have some eggs
Ralph Cifaretto : Toast?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Yeah. How's Corky Ianucci? You heard from him lately? You know Sil used him in the restaurant fire: excellent work
Ralph Cifaretto : You know, I don't understand you Anthony. We got lucky. That accidental fire was a bolt from beyond. The horse was no fuckin good with the colic all the time, and the fuckin bills
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : What're you talking about? She bounced back
Ralph Cifaretto : This time, but each time it takes something out of him. It was all downhill from here. Now, I know it's tragic to think this way but you can't argue with the fuckin logic
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Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri : [reading from index cards, helping Junior prepare to fake his mental competency to stand trial] first question: what is today's date?
Junior Soprano : [before Bobby chuckles] a blonde with big tits and a hat full of Viagra
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : yeah, cute, fuck around: just when that government shrink gets ahold of you, you better know how to fake this
Junior Soprano : I could do it in my sleep
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : oh, yeah? What's your name?
Junior Soprano : [pretending not to know] my name?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : You can't know your name because then they know your fuckin with them
Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri : listen to this: give the subject a piece of paper, ask them draw a circle, fold the paper in half, and give it back. These demented old bats can't do that
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : maybe you should wipe your ass with the paper, then they'll know you're a whack job?
Junior Soprano : [angrily to Tony when Bobby laughs] you think this funny? I'm a source of amusement, I pretend to wipe my ass in front of people
Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri : [to Junior] nah, take it easy
Junior Soprano : I lived my whole life with dignity, now I gotta pretend I'm a fuckin drooling idiot
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : this is just a good clean way out, that's all
Junior Soprano : my poor fuckin brother Ercole: how they mocked him
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Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [referring to Ralph] Who got you those no-show jobs? And not a word of gratitude
Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri : [sarcastically] e's a saint: You forget the thousand incidents with that guy?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [while showing the envelop of money Ralph gave him, referring to Ralph's son hospitalized after an accident] A kid in the hospital, just take a look on how he fuckin earns
Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri : [referring to the prank phone call his mother received] I know it was that miserable prick that called ma at the home: they had to put her on Xanax just so she could sleep. She was in the hospital unit for nervous bowl syndrome
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Whatever "happened" there, "that" was fucked up
Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri : [surprised, irritated by Tony's lack of concern] Fucked up?
Christopher Moltisanti : You don't know it was him
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [gestures to Christopher] Listen to your friend here
Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri : And I'll promise you something else: on my old man's grave, I get proof it was him, he's a fuckin corpse
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Nobody's killing anybody
Paulie 'Walnuts' Gualtieri : All due respect, there's a "line in the sand" when it comes to mothers
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : You lay a hand on him, and your gonna answer to me: if you can quote the rules, you can fuckin obey them, you hear me?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [when he doesn't respond] Don't just look at me, this is a business: did you hear what I said?
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Dr. Harrison Wong : [to Tony, referring to Junior and the mental state exam] He was disoriented when he came in and scored low on his Folstein but that's consistent with concussion
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [yells] We're gonna sue the God damn Justice Department
Dr. Harrison Wong : CAT scan's negative, so far, so good
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : He didn't seem like himself
Dr. Harrison Wong : Man his age could've been working on dementia for quite a while and the blow to the head tipped him over
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : You mean like Alzheimer's?
Dr. Harrison Wong : That's one form of it: that's why we want to keep him here to keep an eye on him. There's a good chance this can go away
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Ralph Cifaretto : Can I come in?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [while in his office inside the Bada Bing strip club, referring to Ralphie's son's injury] Yeah, how is Justin? Any news?
Ralph Cifaretto : It's the left side of the brain that affects speech: too soon to tell
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Well... sit down, go on, you want something to eat?
Ralph Cifaretto : [before handing him an envelope filled with money] No, I just came by to give you this from that "thing"
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : It could've waited
Ralph Cifaretto : I had to smack that guy around this morning
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [while counting the money] Good
Ralph Cifaretto : At least I'm good for something, how could I let something like this happen?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : It could've... happened to anybody
Ralph Cifaretto : You know where I was on his seventh birthday?
Ralph Cifaretto : [when Tony doesn't respond] Florida: So high on coke, I forgot to call him, then I thought I did?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Well, you cut back on that shit, right?
Ralph Cifaretto : [before crying] I'm a different man: my poor baby, my little boy
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [after getting up and sits closer to him, referring to the medical bills] It's covered by the Sheetrock and Plaster Union, right?
Ralph Cifaretto : His covered under his mother's insurance as far as that goes and I'll take care of the rest: whatever it takes... I don't care if it breaks me, get the best care there is
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : Listen there's something, look, I don't want you to hear it from the "grapevine", especially now
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr. : [when he doesn't respond] I'm seeing that girl you used to date, Valentina
