- Mike Flaherty: You don't need a statement. There is no story here.
- Reporter #2: Are you, are you trying the Jedi mind trick on us?
- Paul Lassiter: People with facial hair seem smarter.
- James Hobert: Really?
- Paul Lassiter: Yea, think about it... take Abe Lincoln, Albert Einstein, Bert Reynolds.
- James Hobert: And my Aunt Sally, she's smart as a whip.