- ManRay: Excuse me sir, but I do believe you've dropped your wallet.
- Patrick: Doesn't look familiar to me.
- ManRay: What? I just saw you drop it. Here.
- Patrick: Nope, it's not mine.
- ManRay: It is yours. I am trying to be a good person and return it to you.
- Patrick: Return what to who?
- ManRay: [facepalms, then shows Patrick his ID] Aren't you Patrick Star?
- Patrick: Yup.
- ManRay: And this is your ID.
- Patrick: Yup.
- ManRay: I found this ID in this wallet. And if that's the case, this must be your wallet.
- Patrick: That makes sense to me.
- ManRay: Then take it.
- Patrick: It's not my wallet.
- ManRay: [in anger and frustration] You dim-bulb! Take back your wallet or I'll rip your arms off!
- [SpongeBob pushes the tickle button and Man Ray laughs]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: No. Wrong. Good people don't rip other people's arms off!
- SpongeBob SquarePants: Okay, goodness lesson number two. You see someone struggling with a heavy package. What do you do?
- ManRay: Hello, friend. I noticed you were struggling with that package. Would you like some help with...
- [Patrick drops the package on ManRay's foot]
- ManRay: Ow!
- Patrick: Oops, sorry. Can I start over?
- ManRay: I noticed you was...
- [Patrick drops the package again]
- ManRay: OW!
- Patrick: Oops! Gotta start again.
- ManRay: Would...
- [Patrick drops the box again]
- ManRay: OW!
- Patrick: Oops!
- ManRay: You butterfingered pink thing! What's in that box, anyhow?
- Patrick: My wallets.
- ManRay: [in a rage] ARGH!
- [grabs Patrick's head]
- Patrick: NO! SpongeBob, tickle him!
- [Man Ray slams Patrick into the ground repeatedly. SpongeBob presses the tickle button]
- ManRay: [laughs from the belt] It tickles, but it's worth it!
- [continues slamming Patrick into the ground, while still laughing]
- SpongeBob: Alright, goodness lesson number three.
- [Patrick is shown angry and severely injured, sitting in a wheelchair]
- SpongeBob: Uhh, let's see.
- [Patrick snatches away the remote to the tickle belt]
- Patrick: I've got one! I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 100. What is it?
- ManRay: [genuinely confused] Umm... 62?
- Patrick: Wrong!
- [pushes button to tickle ManRay]
- SpongeBob SquarePants: [walks backstage] Ah, another spectacular performance, SpongeBob.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: [sees a note taped to his mirror] Oh, what's this? A fan letter?
- Sandy Cheeks: [voiceover on note] You were right, SpongeBob! Those jokes are funny! Come on over to the treedome tomorrow and celebrate. Sandy.
- SpongeBob SquarePants: You did it, SpongeBob. You get to keep your career and your friends.
- Clown: Hello folks. I'm gonna skip right past the jokes and proceed immediately to the part where I throw pie at you.
- ManRay: Fear not, SpongeBob. Your teachings have transformed me. Besides, I have checks with little poodles on them.
- Sandy Cheeks: [sees boy] Hello, little critter. What's your name?
- Mom: [yanks boy] Don't stand too close to a squirrel, Billy. You'll catch its stupid.
- Kid: Okay, Mom.
- Sandy Cheeks: [annoyed] Stupidity isn't a virus, but it sure is spreading like one.
- ManRay: You mean, if I was good, then you'd let me go?
- SpongeBob: Yeah, sure, why not?
- ManRay: Then, uh, in that case... I am good.
- SpongeBob: Really?
- ManRay: Yes, really.
- SpongeBob: Really, really?
- ManRay: Yes, yes, really, really!
- SpongeBob: Really, really, really?
- ManRay: Yes, yes, already! I'm good! I'm good! Now let me out of here or you'll suffer dire consequences!
- SpongeBob: Well, that's good enough for me.
- [unfreezes ManRay]
- [ManRay fakes crying so he can fool SpongeBob and Patrick]
- ManRay: Oh, boohoo! Oh, sob! Oh, cry! Oh, woe is me! You don't know what it's like being evil for so long. Oh, how I wish to be... good. If only some kind heroes would show me the path to decency.
- SpongeBob: We could teach you how to be good and then we'll let you go!
- ManRay: [feigning being overjoyed] Ahh, that would be fantastic!
- [chuckles; under his breath]
- ManRay: I'll fake my way through this just like I did in high school.
- Fish Patron 1: [the audience is not liking SpongeBob's jokes so far] Oh, brother, THIS GUY STINKS!
- Fish Patron 2: Hey! Hey, funny guy! I've got a joke for you! What smells really rotten and puts people to sleep?
- SpongeBob: Um, noxious gas?
- Fish Patron 2: No! Your ACT!