SpongeBob SquarePants (TV Series)
Fools in April/Neptune's Spatula (2000)
Bill Fagerbakke: Patrick Star
Photos
Quotes
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Neptune : So, little one? You think you are worthy of being the royal fry cook? I will prove your worthlessness. You shall be tested in a challenge.
Patrick : Bring it on. SpongeBob can handle any...
[Neptune zaps him]
Patrick : Ouch.
Neptune : Your friend's arrogance will cost you dearly. There will be two challenges.
Patrick : Only two? What are two challenges to someone like SpongeBob?
[Neptune zaps him again]
Neptune : Three challenges!
Patrick : Three? Ha ha! Three challenges are nothing. It might as well be... five hundred challenges.
Neptune : Enough!
[Zaps Patrick]
Patrick : [Now just a smudge on the ground] We'll settle for one.
Neptune : There will be but one challenge. You will face me in... the Ultimate Cookoff!
SpongeBob SquarePants : I will accept your challenge, if you fix my friend.
Neptune : Ah, yes. The round one. I shall restore him.
[restores Patrick, only he has no face]
Patrick : SpongeBob? SpongeBob?
[turns around; his face is on his butt]
Patrick : SpongeBob? There you are.
SpongeBob SquarePants : How you feeling?
Patrick : Pretty good. Say, have you gotten taller?
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Squidward Tentacles : [after Squidward goes too far pulling an April Fools prank on SpongeBob] Where's SpongeBob?
Patrick : He's in the house. He's impressed.
Squidward Tentacles : With what?
Patrick : I don't know, but it must have been pretty good to make him cry like that.
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SpongeBob SquarePants : I'm not good enough to cook in Atlantis, Patrick. I should've never taken the challenge.
Patrick : Don't give up on your dream SpongeBob, people used to tell me: "Patrick you'll never amount to anything, you'll always have your head in the clouds." Well, just look at me now!
[points at his face on his butt]
Patrick : [the bell rings] Go get em tiger!
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Neptune : This joke has gone on far enough!, where's my fry cook?
[everyone runs except Patrick]
Neptune : [pointing at Patrick] Certainly you with your prodigious girth would know how to cook a burger to serve a royal palate!
[Patrick points at SpongeBob]
Neptune : What? Am I expected to believe that this creature is royal fry cook material? I don't suppose you have any proof?
[Patrick shows him the picture he took of SpongeBob holding the royal spatula]
Neptune : Ha! This thing is unfit to even scrub the royal tail fin! And besides, it's not just enough to pull a spatula from a greasy griddle, there are certain qualities a royal fry cook must have.
SpongeBob SquarePants : Like?
Neptune : The royal fry cook must be, you know, left-handed.
SpongeBob SquarePants : Actually I've got two
[shows him his two left hands]
Neptune : [snaps his fingers as he comes up with another idea] Also the royal fry cook wears red underwear
[SpongeBob shows him his red underwear]
Neptune : no blue
[SpongeBob shows him blue underwear underneath]
Neptune : The royal fry cook's wallet contains...
[SpongeBob shows him his wallet]
Neptune : His big toes...
[SpongeBob shows him his big toes]
Neptune : Uh, he has six...
Patrick : [interrupting him] He is the new royal fry cook and you...
Neptune : Silence!
[zaps him]
Patrick : [charred and smoking] It is hot in here or what?
[faints]
SpongeBob SquarePants : [gasps] Patrick! You hurt my friend! You're not a king, you're a bully and a liar!