SpongeBob SquarePants (TV Series)

Fools in April/Neptune's Spatula (2000)

John O'Hurley: King Neptune

Photos 

Quotes 

• Neptune : The accursed stove has burnt my finger.

  [zaps stove] 

  Neptune : Feel thine own wrath, stove! Ha ha!

  SpongeBob SquarePants : What did I tell you about using your powers, trainee?

  Neptune : [ashamed]  Perfect patties are made with love, not magic.

• Neptune : So, little one? You think you are worthy of being the royal fry cook? I will prove your worthlessness. You shall be tested in a challenge.

  Patrick : Bring it on. SpongeBob can handle any...

  [Neptune zaps him] 

  Patrick : Ouch.

  Neptune : Your friend's arrogance will cost you dearly. There will be two challenges.

  Patrick : Only two? What are two challenges to someone like SpongeBob?

  [Neptune zaps him again] 

  Neptune : Three challenges!

  Patrick : Three? Ha ha! Three challenges are nothing. It might as well be... five hundred challenges.

  Neptune : Enough!

  [Zaps Patrick] 

  Patrick : [Now just a smudge on the ground]  We'll settle for one.

  Neptune : There will be but one challenge. You will face me in... the Ultimate Cookoff!

  SpongeBob SquarePants : I will accept your challenge, if you fix my friend.

  Neptune : Ah, yes. The round one. I shall restore him.

  [restores Patrick, only he has no face] 

  Patrick : SpongeBob? SpongeBob?

  [turns around; his face is on his butt] 

  Patrick : SpongeBob? There you are.

  SpongeBob SquarePants : How you feeling?

  Patrick : Pretty good. Say, have you gotten taller?

• Neptune : This joke has gone on far enough!, where's my fry cook?

  [everyone runs except Patrick] 

  Neptune : [pointing at Patrick]  Certainly you with your prodigious girth would know how to cook a burger to serve a royal palate!

  [Patrick points at SpongeBob] 

  Neptune : What? Am I expected to believe that this creature is royal fry cook material? I don't suppose you have any proof?

  [Patrick shows him the picture he took of SpongeBob holding the royal spatula] 

  Neptune : Ha! This thing is unfit to even scrub the royal tail fin! And besides, it's not just enough to pull a spatula from a greasy griddle, there are certain qualities a royal fry cook must have.

  SpongeBob SquarePants : Like?

  Neptune : The royal fry cook must be, you know, left-handed.

  SpongeBob SquarePants : Actually I've got two

  [shows him his two left hands] 

  Neptune : [snaps his fingers as he comes up with another idea]  Also the royal fry cook wears red underwear

  [SpongeBob shows him his red underwear] 

  Neptune : no blue

  [SpongeBob shows him blue underwear underneath] 

  Neptune : The royal fry cook's wallet contains...

  [SpongeBob shows him his wallet] 

  Neptune : His big toes...

  [SpongeBob shows him his big toes] 

  Neptune : Uh, he has six...

  Patrick : [interrupting him]  He is the new royal fry cook and you...

  Neptune : Silence!

  [zaps him] 

  Patrick : [charred and smoking]  It is hot in here or what?

  [faints] 

  SpongeBob SquarePants : [gasps]  Patrick! You hurt my friend! You're not a king, you're a bully and a liar!