SpongeBob SquarePants (TV Series)

Valentine's Day/The Paper (2000)

Rodger Bumpass: Squidward Tentacles

Quotes 

• Squidward : Take it, Spongebob! Take it, please! And promise me no matter how much I may beg, and plead, and cry, don't give me that paper back. Ever!

• Squidward : [comes out on drive on car]  Hey, SpongeBob, can your stupid paper do this?

  SpongeBob : [comes past flying using the paper]  Nope...

  [flies off] 

• [Squidward has a look-alike ventriloquist dummy] 

  Squidward : Say, Little Squidward. What is gray and ugly and has six arms?

  Squidward : [as dummy]  I don't know, but have you looked in the mirror lately?

  Squidward : What? Why you...

• Squidward : Okay, SpongeBob, I bet you can't play music on a piece of paper.

  [plays on his clarinet] 

  SpongeBob : [he claps]  Hurray! That was great, Squidward! All those wrong notes you played made it sound more original.

  Squidward : I didn't play any wrong notes.

  [plays again] 

  SpongeBob : Yeah, see, you're playing it like this...

  [plays like Squidward with the paper] 

  SpongeBob : when ordinarily it goes like this.

  [plays it right] 

  SpongeBob : [stops playing]  I'm partial to playing in the key of A minor myself.

  [a huge piece of music appears in the background] 

• Squidward : Does anyone have any sunscreen?