SpongeBob SquarePants (TV Series)

Valentine's Day/The Paper (2000)

Tom Kenny: SpongeBob SquarePants, Gary, Vender Fish, Kid

Photos 

Quotes 

• Patrick : I've been thinking. At first a handshake doesn't seem like much, but really it's the thought that counts...

  [Fran walks up with a heart-shaped box of chocolates in her arms] 

  Fran : Hey SpongeBob, I just wanted to thank you for this box of chocolates.

  SpongeBob : Uh, no problem Fran.

  Patrick : And even though I was expecting more...

  [Dave walks up with roses] 

  Dave : Thanks for the roses, SpongeBob. Happy Valentine's Day!

  SpongeBob : You too, Dave.

  Patrick : And not that it matters that we've been friends for so long...

  [female fish walks up with a bike] 

  Female Fish : Hey SpongeBob, thanks for the bike!

  [to Patrick] 

  Female Fish : Can you believe this guy? I just met him this morning!

  Patrick : [getting angry, through clenched teeth]  So, as I was saying...

  Male Fish : Excuse me; do you guys have the time?

  Patrick : [snaps, screams and throws the fish]  Patrick needs love, too-hoo-hoooo!

• Patrick : If it's not the cotton candy, then what is it? I can't take it!

  SpongeBob : You'll have to guess.

  Patrick : This tent?

  SpongeBob : No.

  Patrick : This guy?

  SpongeBob : No.

  Patrick : [Looking through microscope]  This paramecium?

  SpongeBob : Ha ha! Nope.

  Patrick : You're a sly one.

• Patrick : You broke my heart. Now I'm gonna break something of yours!

  SpongeBob : Okay, Patrick. I know I deserve it. But do they?

  Patrick : They didn't get me anything either.

  [the others throw valentines and gifts at Patrick's feet] 

  Patrick : Nope, it's too late for that now... for all of you!

• Squidward : [comes out on drive on car]  Hey, SpongeBob, can your stupid paper do this?

  SpongeBob : [comes past flying using the paper]  Nope...

  [flies off] 

• Squidward : Okay, SpongeBob, I bet you can't play music on a piece of paper.

  [plays on his clarinet] 

  SpongeBob : [he claps]  Hurray! That was great, Squidward! All those wrong notes you played made it sound more original.

  Squidward : I didn't play any wrong notes.

  [plays again] 

  SpongeBob : Yeah, see, you're playing it like this...

  [plays like Squidward with the paper] 

  SpongeBob : when ordinarily it goes like this.

  [plays it right] 

  SpongeBob : [stops playing]  I'm partial to playing in the key of A minor myself.

  [a huge piece of music appears in the background] 

• Sandy Cheeks : Yee-haw! Get along, little shellfish! Gallop, you scallops!

  [Lands the balloon right behind Patrick; SpongeBob is relieved] 

  SpongeBob : Yeah! Sandy's here! Woo-hoo! Look, Patrick, it's here! It's here! The best Valentine in the whole wide world is right behind you!

  Patrick : [ignores him]  Sure it is.

  SpongeBob : [jumping up and down]  I'm telling you! It's right there! TURN AROUND!

  Patrick : Uh-uh.

  SpongeBob : Patrick, just turn around!

  [the crowd shouts at Patrick and SpongeBob is sad] 

  Crowd : Turn around! You nincompoop! Why you!

  Patrick : You must think I'm pretty dumb, huh?

  Crowd : YES! TURN AROUND!

  Patrick : No!

  Crowd : [chanting]  TURN-A-ROUND! TURN-A-ROUND!

  Patrick : Nuh-uh! I'm gonna say this once and I'm not going to say it again, so pay attention! I am not, I repeat, not going to turn around for any reason, *ever!*

  Sandy Cheeks : Howdy, Patrick!

  Patrick : [turns around]  Hi, Sandy!

  [He sees the chocolate balloon and is reduced to surprised gibberish] 

  SpongeBob : Happy Valentine's Day, Patrick!

  Patrick : Yay! My valentine!

  [jumps on it] 

  Patrick : Hey, is this solid chocolate?

  SpongeBob : Patrick, NO!

  [Patrick bites into the balloon and chocolate explodes all over the carnival] 

  Patrick : Aw, SpongeBob... you didn't have to get me anything.

• Sandy Cheeks : Happy Valentine's Day, SpongeBob. I'm nuts for you.

  SpongeBob : Well, I'm bubbles for you, Sandy!

• Sandy Cheeks : Take me through the plan again.

  SpongeBob : Okay! Step 1...

  [deep voice] 

  SpongeBob : Patrick and I get to the Valentine's Day carnival.

  [normal voice] 

  SpongeBob : Step 2...

  [deep voice] 

  SpongeBob : I position Patrick and myself on top of the Ferris wheel.

  [normal voice] 

  SpongeBob : Step 3...

  [deep voice] 

  SpongeBob : You arrive at designated checkpoint for maximum visual contact.

  [normal voice] 

  SpongeBob : Step 4...

  [deep voice] 

  SpongeBob : Patrick is thrilled. Mission accomplished.