- Casey McCall: You have a crush on Hillary Clinton.
- Dan Rydell: I carry a torch for her, yes.
- Casey McCall: You're hot for Mrs. Clinton.
- Dan Rydell: Well, who isn't? But in my case it's more than physical. It's cerebral.
- Casey McCall: No doubt about it. I think we need to get you a CAT scan. And stat.
- Dan Rydell: I would like to have an intelligent, high-minded, right-thinking, socially progressive, impressively pragmatic conversation with Hillary Clinton. Tomorrow morning I shall.
- Casey McCall: Shall you?
- Dan Rydell: Yes. And she will say, "My goodness. That Dan Rydell is such a bright young boy, so much more than sports scores and highlights. I think I'll make him my gentleman friend."
- Casey McCall: Well, then, here's to you Mrs. Robinson.
- Casey McCall: Was there a stripper?
- Dana Whitaker: At the party?
- Casey McCall: Yeah.
- Dana Whitaker: Yes, there was.
- Casey McCall: Did he have a better body than me?
- Dana Whitaker: Of course he had a better body than you, Casey. He was a professional male stripper.
- Casey McCall: You know, let me tell you something. When we're asked, men know how to answer that question.
- Sam Donovan: You shouldn't think that just because I'm looking at you while you're talking to me, that I'm necessarily listening to or caring about what you're saying. It's just something I do to be polite.
- Dan Rydell: I mixed up! I inverted the definitions of "secular" and "nonsecular"!
- Casey McCall: Looks like that might be the case.
- Dan Rydell: Hilary Clinton thinks I'm an idiot!
- Casey McCall: Either that or a religious bigot.
- Dan Rydell: I went to an Ivy League school, Casey.
- Casey McCall: A proud day for Dartmouth, Dan.
- Sam Donovan: I was lying on a beach in Bali. I got a phone call, I got on a plane for 14 hours. I was hired to raise this show's audience share 3 points. Just between you and me, I'm gonna raise it 3 and a half. I'm not lacking in confidence as far as that's concerned, and because of that, I can say this: I honestly don't give a damn if any of you work here or not.