Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (TV Series)

His Way (1998)

James Darren: Vic Fontaine

Photos 

Quotes 

• Vic Fontaine : Tell me something - how do you get to Carnegie Hall?

  Odo : I have no idea.

  Vic Fontaine : Practice, practice, practice! Get it?

  Odo : No.

• Vic Fontaine : You got about as much personality as an icicle. Cool is one thing, but you're frozen solid.

• Vic Fontaine : If you're gonna work Vegas in the '60s, you better know the score. Otherwise you're gonna look like a Clyde.

  Major Kira : A Clyde?

  Vic Fontaine : A Harvey, you know?

  Lt. Commander Worf : Harvey?

  Vic Fontaine : A square. You know what a square is, right?

  Chief O'Brien : It's one side of a cube.

  Vic Fontaine : Well, I guess that answers my question.

• Vic Fontaine : [to the Starfleet officers in uniform]  By the way, this is a high class joint. That means, coat and ties for the gents, dresses for the ladies. You guys look like a trapeze act.

• Odo : This isn't working.

  Vic Fontaine : I thought you two were getting along just fine.

  Odo : Of course we are; you programed her to find me irresistible. I could read her a criminal activities report, she'd think it was poetry.

• Vic Fontaine : Talk about you cranky aliens. You two really *are* made for each other.

• Vic Fontaine : It's time to have some fun.

  Odo : What does fun have to do with Major Kira?

  Vic Fontaine : I'll pretend I didn't hear that.

• Melissa : Are you classically trained?

  Odo : Oh, actually, er... Vic taught me everything I know.

  Melissa : [to Vic]  Is he a good student?

  Vic Fontaine : Head of his class.

  Melissa : [to Odo]  Maybe I can help you get your diploma...

• Vic Fontaine : [to Kira]  Hey, doll-face...

• Vic Fontaine : [about Odo]  You don't know him as well as you think you do. He's not the same stick in the mud anymore. The cat can swing.

  Major Kira : Are we talking about the same Odo?

  Vic Fontaine : The one and only. But let me tell you, the only chick he wants to swing with is you.

• Vic Fontaine : All right, ladies, the night is young and I have a table waiting for us at the 'Dunes'.

  Ginger : [ecstatic]  We're gonna see Shecky! Oh!

  [kisses Vic] 

  Melissa : Shecky!

  Odo : Shecky who?

  Melissa : Oh, you didn't tell me he had a sense of humor.

  Ginger : He plays the piano *and* he is funny - kinda like Victor Borge.

  Odo : Who?

  Melissa : I think I'm in love...

• Vic Fontaine : Here in Vegas there's only one way to make sure you don't lose any money: the moment you step off the plane, you walk right into the propellers.

• Vic Fontaine : Hey, it's been 400 years, but that little number still works for me.

• Vic Fontaine : Thank you, thank you for that kind applause. Keep clapping - there's a fly buzzing the room, and one of you is bound to nail him.

• Vic Fontaine : Ladies and gentlemen, we have a very special surprise for you tonight. If this babe doesn't raise your temperature, you better check the obituary column because chances are you're in it, pally.

• Vic Fontaine : Do you know how difficult it was for me to get a holographic image of Major Kira? Lucky for you, Julian used her image in one of his spy programs - though it did take me an hour to get rid of the Russian accent.

• Vic Fontaine : Don't say it - Computer, end program.

• Vic Fontaine : I mean, you're standing there like a statue. I mean, the only thing you're going to attract are pigeons.

• Vic Fontaine : How'd you like being in the spotlight?

  Odo : Very bright.