- B'Elanna Torres: [reading Seven's study of her and Tom from a PADD] 'Stardate 52647, 1400 hours: Subjects quarrel in corridor outside female's quarters. Male returns with twelve flowering plant stems, species rosa rubifolia, effecting a cessation of hostilities. Stardate 52648, 0300 hours: Intimate relations resume.' - How the hell do you know when we're having intimate relations?
- Seven of Nine: There is no one on deck nine, section twelve, who *doesn't* know when you're having intimate relations.
- Neelix: [as Tomin lies in sick bay] I thought synthehol wasn't supposed to have this effect on people.
- The Doctor: Most people. The enzyymes that break down synthehol aren't present in his bloodstream.
- Neelix: Can you counteract the effects?
- The Doctor: I can synthesize the enzymes, but that'll take days.
- Neelix: Days? The Captain will be back in the morning.
- Lt. Tom Paris: Maybe he needs a cold shower.
- Neelix: If his superiors find him like this, he'll be banished from the colony, and our trade agreement will go right out the airlock!
- Tomin: Oh, Seven of mine...
- Seven of Nine: It may be possible to encode some of my nanoprobes to assimilate the synthehol molecules.
- Tomin: Assimilate me!
- B'Elanna Torres: [angry that Seven has been studying her and Tom's relationship] I want all the data you've collected.
- Seven of Nine: I haven't completed the study.
- B'Elanna Torres: Then study this: Borg provokes Klingon. Klingon breaks Borg nose.
- Neelix: B'Elanna.
- B'Elanna Torres: [to Neelix] Call sickbay. Tell them there's about to be a medical emergency.
- Seven of Nine: Your presence is required... or rather, it is requested - tonight, 1900 hours, holodeck two.
- Lieutenant William Chapman: Another engineering simulation?
- Seven of Nine: Dinner.
- Lieutenant William Chapman: Dinner?
- Seven of Nine: The consumption of nutritional biomatter.
- Lieutenant William Chapman: No, I know what dinner is, I just... Are you... asking me to join you?
- Seven of Nine: Yes. State your response.
- Lieutenant William Chapman: OK. Yes.
- Tomin: Heeey. Why don't we go back to my quarters? I studied human mating rituals.
- Seven of Nine: Remove your hand or I will remove your arm!
- The Doctor: [Another of the Doctor's dating lessons, said to a preoccupied Seven] The key to finding a compatible partner is learning how to share your interests and goals. We'll start with hobbies.
- [speaking as if a potential suitor]
- The Doctor: What do you do with your spare time?
- Seven of Nine: Regenerate.
- The Doctor: Uh-huh. Tell me about you tastes, your likes and dislikes.
- Seven of Nine: I dislike irrelevant conversations.
- The Doctor: Okaaay, which brings us to 'goals'. What do you want out of life?
- Seven of Nine: Perfection.
- Seven of Nine: [proposing a toast] May cultural differences encourage us to build bridges of understanding. To all that makes us unique.
- [Paris tells hologram jokes to amuse Tomin]
- Tom Paris: How do you bend a hologram's ear? Use a prism. What did the councilor say to the hologram? "You're projecting!"
- [Seven offers to get Paris and/or the Doctor a drink]
- The Doctor: You know I don't drink. I don't have the stomach for it.
- Captain Kathryn Janeway: Have you ever considered trying it yourself? Romance, I mean.
- Seven of Nine: I do not require a romantic relationship.
- Captain Kathryn Janeway: So why'd you collect 30,000 gigaquads of data on the subject?
- The Doctor: I heard about the mess hall incident.
- Seven of Nine: This crew can be very efficient at disseminating information, when they choose to be.
- The Doctor: They say gossip travels faster than warp speed.
- Seven of Nine: [struggling with the task of small talk] Perhaps there's something to be said for assimilation after all.
- Seven of Nine: The Doctor asked me to pick a suitable candidate.
- Harry Kim: For what?
- Seven of Nine: Lesson 10: The First Date.
- Harry Kim: YOUR first date?
- Seven of Nine: I've narrowed the list to two crewmen, based on work performance and compatible interests.
- Harry Kim: I didn't know you HAD any interests.
- Seven of Nine: Neither did I, but apparently they include astronomy, quantum mechanics and music.
- Harry Kim: I play the clarinet, you know.
- Seven of Nine: You are not one of the candidates, Ensign.
- Harry Kim: Oh.
- [the Doctor's showing Seven a slide presentation about mating]
- The Doctor: Here we see how 'fortess ovum' is besieged by countless little warriors...
- Seven of Nine: Doctor, I am familiar with the physiological processes of sexuality.
- The Doctor: Perhaps you should consider... expanding your research to the realm of dating.
- Seven of Nine: Dating? You mean procreation?
- The Doctor: One step at a time. Dating is a human ritual, wherein two people share a social activity, get to know each other. In time, it can lead to a romantic involvement, and eventually, if all goes well, even marriage.
- Seven of Nine: One step at a time.
- [the Doctor has taken Seven out to Ambassador Tomin's reception]
- Tom Paris: Impressive. You're actually taught her to be polite, but don't think you've won our bet. She was supposed to bring a REAL date.
- The Doctor: Photons and force fields, flesh and blood - why quibble over details?
- Tomin: [shouting across the mess hall] Ensign Paris, tell us another one of those hologram jokes!
- The Doctor: You've been stealing my material?
- Tom Paris: That guy's so lubricated, he'll laugh at anything.
- The Doctor: Are you implying that Seven couldn't get a date?
- Tom Paris: What, are you kidding? Half the men on this ship would jump at the chance; but, getting a date is one thing. Keeping it from turning into a disaster is another.
- [the Doctor begins his lesson plan]
- The Doctor: I've prepared an introduction. I call it "Love Amid the Stars."
- The Doctor: [early in his "Love Amid the Stars" presentation] Of course, the species you're most likely to interact with is human, so without further ado - Lesson 1: First Contact.
- The Doctor: The courtship of some species remain shrouded in mystery. For example, Species 8472 appears to have as many as five sexes. Bystanders better keep their distance.
- Steven Price: Curious jewelry.
- Seven of Nine: It's a Borg implant. I was a drone.
- Steven Price: Oh, so then it's a family heirloom.
- Seven of Nine: Borg do not have families. They have unimatrices.
- Seven of Nine: Clearly, I am not the only one who requires social lessons. Thank you for a lovely evening.