Star Trek: Voyager (TV Series)
Tinker Tenor Doctor Spy (1999)
Robert Duncan McNeill: Ensign Tom Paris
Quotes
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[as The Doctor sings La Donna E Mobile in the mess hall, Tuvok begins to cry]
Tom Paris : [quietly] Tuvok...
[Tuvok goes from crying to laughing uncontrollably, then grunting, as if in pain]
Tom Paris : Tuvok.
[Tuvok starts thrashing around]
Captain Janeway : [clicks her combadge] Janeway to Security, get a team to the mess hall right away!
The Doctor : Stand back! He's been seized by the pon farr! A neurochemical imbalance is driving him to mate. We won't be able to reason with him!
The Doctor : [starts singing to the melody of the music] Tuvok, I understand / you are a Vulcan man. / You have just gone without / For seven years, about. / Paris, please find a way / To load a hypospray. / I will give you the sign / Just aim for his behind. / Hormones are raging, / Synapses blazing. / It's all so veee-...
[Tom loads and throws the hypospray to the Doctor, who catches it while sustaining a note]
The Doctor : ...hery illogical.
[injects Tuvok in the butt with the hypospray; Tuvok collapses]
The Doctor : [finishing the song] Illogical. Iii-ll... illogical.
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[the Doctor has filed a formal grievance, along with a request to be made captain in the event of a catastrophic emergency]
Captain Janeway : I don't want anybody to be uncomfortable on this ship. I guess we should all try to be a little more considerate of his feelings.
Tom Paris : Captain, he does it to himself. He's Chief Medical Officer. Is it our fault that's not enough for him?