- Tina Miller: I wanna watch my Tiny Force video again.
- Judy Miller: Again?
- Bill Miller: Won't have to put the tape in, Tina. Just listen to Daddy's head, 'cause it's always playin' in here.
- Tina Miller: [putting an ear to his scalp] I don't hear anything.
- Judy Miller: Try his tummy. There's like a whole marching band going on in there.
- Bill Miller: Yeah, the corn beef section's tuning up right now.
- Judy Miller: Bill, we need to encourage our daughter to do better. I mean, I think the reason we were lazy is because we never had to help Brian or motivate him to do his homework.
- Bill Miller: Yeah, I loved that little freak of nature.
- Linda Michaels: It's so nice to see you guys have finally taken an interest in junior high. Only took you 25 years.
- Bill Miller: Hey, when you have kids, I'm sure you and donor sample 3256'll feel the same way we do.
- Judy Miller: There's nothing funny about your sister being in honor science.
- Brian Miller: [chuckling] Well, you want me to stop laughing but you keep saying it.
- Brian Miller: So let me get this straight: You want me to help you help Lauren cheat.
- Bill Miller: Preferably without her knowing.
- Brian Miller: Are there ANY rules in this house anymore?
- Linda Michaels: Okay, listen up, 'cause I got some hot gossip.
- Bill Miller: Yeah, yeah. Your cat's having kittens; you don't know who the father is.
- Bill Miller: And they said we weren't fit to bring children into this world. Where are those people now?
- Judy Miller: At my parent's house.
- Bill Miller: Yup.