- Brian Miller: Yeah, I watched a training video for two hours. It seemed like a waste of time.
- Bill: Yeah. A waste of time you got paid for... otherwise known as a job.
- Linda Michaels: Any idea on how to ditch a third wheel?
- Bill: Once I figure it out, you'll be the first to know.
- Judy Miller: [on finding Brian a job] Well, Bill, you said that they needed help down at work, right?
- Bill: Ooo, I don't know. You just can't walk in off the street and sell toilets.
- Bill: [to rookie employee Brian] You're not supposed to study on your break. That's like reading a book on vacation.