Strangers with Candy (TV Series)

Is My Daddy Crazy? (2000)

David Cross: Dr. Trepanning

Quotes 

• Jerri Blank : Can't you just drill a hole in his head to let the demons out?

  Dr. Trepanning : Jerri, that practice is obsolete. These days, we subdue the demons with drugs until they become addicted. Then we draw them out with meat.

• Dr. Trepanning : Well, Jerri, it's been a tough night, but we finally subdued him. I tell you, your son Stew sure can take a blow to the head.

  Jerri Blank : Well technically, he's not my son. He's my stepmother's lover.

  Dr. Trepanning : Oh, good, then you can sign these release forms.

  Jerri Blank : How's he doing?

  Dr. Trepanning : Well, aside from the insanity, he's as healthy as a horse that's been beaten unconscious by a gang of savage orderlies.

• Jerri Blank : Dr. Trepanning, can you get all the crazy out of my daddy?

  Dr. Trepanning : I can't make any promises, Jerri, but I promise I will. I'll use every tool at my disposal: medication, drugs, *and* pills.

  Jerri Blank : Well how long will it take?

  Dr. Trepanning : What is it, Wednesday? Thirty years.

  Jerri Blank : What? I need him by this afternoon!

  Dr. Trepanning : Jerri, the brain is a delicate and highly complicated organ. I know, I've taken a few of them apart and every time I put them back together, there's always a few extra parts laying around.

  Jerri Blank : Why can't you just drill a hole in his skull to let the demons out?

  Dr. Trepanning : [chuckles]  Jerri, drilling a hole in the skull to let the demons out is a pretty archaic treatment of mental illness. Today, we sedate the demons until they become addicted, and then we coax them out with a piece of meat. It takes years.