- Jock: The only thing we hate more than racists... is spics.
- Jerri Blank: First of all, I don't like people. I like me.
- Mr. Geoffrey Jellineck: Does everything have to be about you?
- Jerri Blank: Well, I may not be much, but I'm all I think about.
- Orlando Pinatubo: You should run for Homecoming Queen, Jerri.
- Jerri Blank: What? Are you joking? I don't think I'm what the boys consider a traditional beauty.
- Orlando Pinatubo: In my country you would be a real queen.
- Jerri Blank: Yea, that's because you country is ruled by monkeys.
- Orlando Pinatubo: Jerry, that's an ugly thing to say.
- Jerri Blank: Geez, why are you so sensitive about your resemblance to monkeys? They're adorable!